THE ACTRESS

CHAPTER 16

Chapter 16

MAGa-aalas onse na pero wala pa akong nagagawang matino. Kanina pa ako nakatanga sa harap ng Macbook para ireview ang sales ng Carissema pero mukhang hindi naman doon nakatuon ang aking atensyon. Hanggang ngayon ay blangko pa rin ang aking isipan. Pa'nong hindi? Tuloy na tuloy na ang pagsasama namin nina Lorraine at JP sa susunod na linggo. You heard me right, next week. Agad-agad. Wala nang patumpik-tumpik pa.

Kung bakit ba naman kasi pumayag ako. Sakit sa ulo! This is stressing me out.

Agad kong sinara ang sales report at nagbukas na lang ng web. Matagal-tagal na rin pala akong hindi nagbubukas ng facebook. The last time was two months ago, if I remember it right.

I keyed in my e-mail ad and password. Dalawang beses ko pang t-in-ype ang password ko bago tuluyang naglog-in. Perks of not so fond of social networking sites.

Bumungad agad sa akin ang mga friend requests na hindi ko naman alam kung sinu-sino ang mga nagpadala. Random people, I guess. I scrolled down to look for some people I might know. Ang ilan ay mga nakatrabaho ko sa Cotoure. Isa-isa kong in-accept ang mga kilala ko na.

Ilolog-out ko na sana ng biglang magpop-up ang chat box. I was surprised. It was JP. Ang alam ko ay b-in-lock ko na siya sa facebook four years ago. I don't wanna sound bitter but maybe that's one immediate reaction of betrayed people.

JP: Hey. 

Agad kong pinindot and close button ng chat box dahil wala naman akong planong replyan siya.

JP: Carisse.  

Hay, ang kulit! Pa'no ba kasi nakakapagmessage 'to kung matagal ko na siyang nablock sa friend list ko. He's frustrating me.

ME: Bakit ba? Pa'no mo 'ko nahanap?

Agad naman siyang nagreply.

JP: Made my new account. Naisip ko lang iadd ka. 

Me: K.

JP: Kahit sa chat ang sungit mo. 

Me: Busy ako.

JP: Ganun ba? I was actually planning on asking you out later. 

Me: Busy nga ako. And besides, bakit ako inaaya mo? Why not Lorraine?

I waited for his reply. Five minutes passed and yet, I got no reply from him. Five more minutes. Five more.

F*ck. Why am I even waiting for his response? Dapat ay kanina pa lang naglog-out na ako. I was about to log my account out when the chat box popped up again.

JP: Sorry. May tumawag lang.  Anyway, kung busy ka ngayon baka pwedeng bukas na lang?

Sino naman kayang tumawag sa kanya? Some random people? Ano naman kayang pinagusapan nila? Business? Baka naman si Lorraine or some other girls? The hell I care anyway.

I waited for five minutes before I typed my reply. Just getting even, you know.

Me: I'll check. But I'm probably going to be busy kaya wag ka nang umasa. Why not ask Lorraine?

I waited for not that long when he sent his message and I almost forget how to breathe, literally.

JP: Ikaw ang gusto ko, not Lorraine. 

Sh*t! Is he trying to hit on me? Again? Hindi ko alam kung anong naging reaksyon ko as I read his message but it surely made my heart beat abnormally fast. I wasn't sure if it was because I was nervous or what.

I decided not to reply. Ni-log-out ko agad ang facebook ko at isinara ang laptop.

Nagpakabusy na lamang ako sa pamamagitan ng pagdedesign ng mga damit na pwede kong isama sa bago kong collection. Two months from now ay magaganap na ang Philippine Annual Fashion Week at pinaplano kong sumali roon. It was my dream that's why I really worked hard to get noticed in the industry. Fortunately, nagkakaroon naman ako ng kaunting achievements which highlight my talent kahit papano. Kumbaga, unti-unti ay napapansin na ako.

Actually, may nag-invite na sa'king sumali sa Fashion Week. I'm just waiting for the confirmation. Of course, masayang-masaya ako. But you can't take away the fact that I'm nervous at the same time. This has been my dream since day one and now that it's near to happen, I want to give my best shot. Ayokong mapahiya. This would be my time to showcase my skill and I want to prove myself.

Maingat kong nilagyan ng detalye and design na ginagawa ko. Medyo mahirap lalo pa't sa dami na ng designs ko, hindi maiwasang maubusan ka ng ideya paminsan-minsan.

Nilamukot ko ang piraso ng sketch paper. I'm not satisfied with. Too usual. Kumbaga sa kwento, cliché. And I don't want my designs to be cliché.

Inilagay ko ang hawak na lapis sa ibabaw ng tenga saka nag-isip. I need an inspiration. Kailangang may tema. May kwento. May koneksyon ang bawat piece sa isa't isa.

Nagising ang diwa ko sa tunog ng message alert tone. I took my phone from the table para tingnan kung sino ang nagtext. Marahan kong s-in-wipe ang screen ng phone and keyed in the password. Binasa ko ang pangalan ng nagtext and the moment I saw JP's name on it, I immediately formulated a quite good idea.

I finally have a theme to work on: Betrayal, Love and Forgiveness.