THE ACTRESS

CHAPTER 10

Chapter 10

I put my headphones on when JP started driving. I just can't stand listening to him after what he had done. Kumota na siya sa pagpapahiya sa akin and I can't allow him to humiliate me again. Sumusobra na siya a.

I know he's trying to make a conversation with me because I can see the opening of his mouth at the reflection of the window. But I didn't give a damn. I have no plan to talk to him right now. I'm just so pissed at kung mag-uusap pa kami, it would just end up arguing.

"Why did we stop?", I asked as I removed the headphones from my ears. He just looked at me as he heaved a sigh.

"I've been talking here the whole time but it seems like I'm talking to the windshield.", he complained. So kasalanan kong magdadakdak siya? E sa wala ako sa mood makipag-usap sa kanya e.

"I'm trying to relax here. Di ba sabi mo wag akong magpaka-hassle at baka ma-haggard ako pagdating?", pairap kong bwelta.

"Talking to me wouldn't make you too tired Carisse. Nabobored ako dito tapos hindi mo man lang ako kinakausap. Or even try to listen."

"My God, JP! Unang-una, hindi kita inobligang ihatid ako so don't oblige me to listen to your stories dahil wala ako sa mood. Pangalawa, ipagpatuloy mo na lang ang pagdadrive nang makarating na tayo. We're wasting our time arguing for such a nonsense thing."

His face suddenly went disappointed and I felt a bit guilty. Hindi naman ako suplada, sa kanya lang. And you can't blame me, malalim ang pinaghuhugutan ko.

"You're unbelievable. I'm trying my best to be friendly to you. Why do I have this feeling that you hate me that much huh?"

I wanted to tell him why. What for, if he knows exactly why.

I cleared my throat before I let out a word. "Ewan ko. Mabigat lang talaga ang loob ko sa'yo. Bakit? Hindi ko rin alam, baka may kasalanan kang nagawa sa'kin which I can't remember. Or you're just naturally unlikeable. Ikaw na mag-isip kung alin sa dalawa, but for now paandarin mo na 'tong sasakyan because this conversation is really getting nonsense."

I put my headphones back and turned my look outside the car. Bakit ganun? Saying those words cuts me inside. Masakit pa rin. Ano bang meron ka JP at hanggang ngayon ay ganito pa ring katindi ang epekto mo sa akin? Bwiset ka!

I can't hear anything but I'm sure he shut his mouth with what I said. Naramdaman ko na lang ang pagharurot ng sasakyan and through that, I know he's mad. At me? I don't know. He should've get madder at his self. Siya naman itong may kasalanan sa akin at siya ang dahilan kung bakit ganito ang pakikitungo ko sa kanya. I'm just a victim of love. And nobody can blame me for what I feel.

Siguro nga ito yung paraan ko para gumanti, para quits na kami. Pero patas nga ba ito? Ugh. Naguguluhan na ako! Somehow, my guilt wants to eat me up and I just wanted to stop lying.

Mas mahirap mabuhay sa kasinungalingan kaysa mabuhay sa mapait na nagdaan. Malapit na rin namang matapos ito. I believe, I hope, pagkatapos ng proyektong ito ay hindi na ulit kami magkikita ni JP. And by that time, ipagpapatuloy ko na ang nasimulan kong paglimot sa kanya.

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The whole trip was very awkward. Nakakabingi ang katahimikan. After our argument, I never heard him talk. Tinanggal ko na kasi ang headphones ko kanina. Hindi ko nga namalayang nakatulog na pala ako.

Bahagya akong napamulat nang maramdaman ko ang marahang pagtapik ni JP sa aking balikat.

"I hate to interfere your sleep at baka ma-haggard ka but we're already here.", di pa rin ba siya makamove on sa nangyari kanina?

"Than-", hindi pa man ako tapos magsalita ay agad din siyang lumabas at binuksan ang back door para kunin ang mga gamit doon. "Fine. Sungit.", I whispered irritatedly.

"Are you saying som-", hindi ko siya pinatapos at ako naman ang lumabas ng sasakyan at dire-diretsong pumasok para hanapin ang production team. Belat! Hindi ako papayag na ginaganito mo ako Salgado. You're nothing but a long-ago-cheating boyfriend. No way that you can treat me like that. Ako lang!

Agad ko namang nahanap ang mga kasamahan namin and waved at them to say hello. Of course, mabait at approaching ako sa ibang tao. As for JP? We're not friends.

"How was the trip?", asked Reneé, ang baklang make-up artist, habang inginunguso ang paparating na si JP. Ang iba nama'y ngiting-ngiting nakaabang sa sasabihin ko.

"I just slept.", I answered noninterestedly.

"You mean you just slept the whole trip? Hindi man lang kayo nag-usap? My God, you're impossible Cars, ikaw lang kaya ang babaeng sinuyo niya nang ganyan.", Sam commented, the creative design head. She's in-charge with setting up the place and she's really good with what she does. I love how she can turn a simple venue into an elegantly grand one. She really has a talent on that, naturally.

"Suyo? E mukhang palagi ngang may period yun e. Dinaig pa ang babae sa kasungitan.", pailing-iling ko pang sabi. Pero I wanted to smile on that idea? Ako nga lang ba ang babaeng sinuyo niya nang ganito?

"E kayo? Kanina pa ba kayo?", I tried to change the topic dahil malapit na sa amin si JP and I don't want him to think na pinag-uusapan namin siya which we actually just did.

"Hi Pat!", bati ni Sam at Reneé when JP got to our place. Tango at ngiti lang ang sagot niya sa mga ito saka inayos ang mga gamit na dala ko.

"Kamusta ang byahe?", oh come on Samantha. Don't start a scene please.

"She just slept.", he said as he turned his look at me.

Leshe! What kind of answer was that? Pinagti-trip-an mo ba talaga ako JP?

"Oh crap, sad story.", Rick, the assistant director, teased. The whole team cackled as they left the two of us one by one. Bakit ba kasi yun ang sinagot niya? At anong kinalaman ng pagtulog ko sa pagdadrive niya?

"You're impossibly arrogant, you know.", I said and left him alone. He's really getting into my nerves. The more I push him away, the more he gets into my life.

Bwiset ka Salgado! Bakit mo ba ako ginaganito? Or shall I say, bakit ba ako nagkakaganito? Sht!