Not Yours | H.S

forty

( confessions )

A year ago today, my makeup sponges were covering up the bruises on my cheekbone.

It wasn't new, nor was I shocked. What is shocking to my brain is that I have forgiven and moved on. I haven't forgotten, but I let him rest so my mind could fall forward into the better things. Supporting my baby, supporting my friends and learning how to blossom in a healthy relationship.

"I'm so glad to be back. To be laughing with you, to be physically in your sight." I cheered, closing my eyes in laughter.

Today we hit a mark in our relationship, we were moving on from our past and we were fighting whatever troubles our past had to give us. They only made me stronger, more open to these opportunities.

Who knows if i'd be here if it wasn for my past, maybe i wouldn't enjoy it so much if it wasn't for the fact i was new to this level of care.

"I'm so glad you're back in my sight too, don't you worry." He smiled widely, taking in a strawberry.

It stained his lips, making them a few tints darker to what they usually were. The nice subtle pink now falling to a dark red that didn't look off. They were glossy and seemed kissable under the light trace of the juice in the fruit.

His lips wrapped around the fruit as he took in another one. There was something so amazing to look at, he was so captivating in every way possible every inch of my mind liked having him in it. I never got sick of his name on my lips, his hands in my hair nor his voice ringing through my ears.

He was comforting, he was inviting and he was always welcomed to stay put in my mind, even if he was driving me mad all together.

"I hate it when you look at me like that, Polls."

I kept my head resting on my palms, my elbow leaning on the side of the couch. "Again, why?"

I always knew the answer, I just loved hearing it. The satisfaction really fed into my ego making it grow that little bit further for the next week or two.

"Because my eyes will never be the first to leave, I love looking at you. So I hate it." He whines.

I let out a closed lip smile, I was gaining waves of tiredness by the minute. My mind, it just loved staying awake so I wouldn't miss him. I couldnt blame her, even my body ahed for him when it didnt ache from carrying around a fucking baby.

"Come here, I have to tell you something."

I changed the subject to keep me excited, to keep me going for another few hours.

His body listens, it shuffles closer to me so I sit on the couch normally, leaning my back onto where my elbow was resting. My legs cross as I lean into his shoulder, whispering in his ear. "I don't know if Louis told you or not..."

I loved gossip.

It wasn't necessarily harmful, and it's something I'd tell my boyfriend anyway. It's just a little more skeptical now that it's about his and my own best friend.

He listens carefully, he doesn't move his eyes just stays in the same spot. "But Amara and him have had a little thing going on behind the scenes."

His eyes widen, so does his smile. He seemed just as invested as me, the teller.

"But shh! I'm not supposed to say..." I quickly come back up, defending myself and the little secret.

He gives me a small squeeze to pull me in for a hug, because our bodies seem to never get close enough. He kisses my cheek before moving his lips to my ear. "I did have some suspicions, but I thought I was going crazy."