Lost In My Feelings

Chapter 8

1:00pm.

"o-oh Ma'am Y/n, y-you're here" I got shocked at the sudden open of the door infront of me, it was Doc. Jin.

"i-im sorry if I scared you" my voice stuttered.

"it's okay ma'am, come in" he guided me inside, i followed his steps, then he told me to sit on a couch, just beside his table.

I looked around the room, everything seems so bright, the white walls, and the nature photo frames hanged on the wall makes me calm down at least.

he sat down on the couch infront of me, then intertwined his hands together then placed it on his lap, he looked at me.

"so, Y/n, can you tell me where did this all start?" he said in a calm, and chilling tone.

I just stared straight at the white wall, then to him, I'm scared to open up

"dont worry, this is a safe place to open up, and I'll be here to listen" he adds.

but fine, I will.

"doc, it all started with my ex boyfriend..."

he nods his head, and is ready to listen to every word i say, I took a deep breath and continued my words.

"it all started with my ex boyfriend, Yoongi, he was 2 years older than me, and he was like my real soulmate, we were together for 2 whole years, everything was going smoothly in between the both of us"

he nods his head and continues to look straight at me, while I stared down at the floor.

"everyone loved us as couples in High School, our parents were very supportive of us, and i thought he was the one that i could spend my whole life with, b-but I was wrong"

I wa stopping my words, but going straight to the point.

"but not until his grandmother died, he had less time with me, nor asked how was I doing, I understood his pain and I wanted to be there comforting him, and I did"

"his grandmother's death changed him, and he started to act cold to me, and to our friends"

"he lost interest in everything, never knew that I'd be one of them, and then he broke up with me...."

silence was filled in the room, I held my left hand tightly while I tried to stop the tears from falling down.

"and after our breakup, he found a new girl all of a sudden, it s-shocked me, h-how he replaced us so fast"

"it broke half of my heart just by hearing his name, it broke me so badly"

"he was my everything but I was nothing to him" tears started to run all over my cheeks, as I sniffed through my nose, he made a line on his lips.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Y/n, but I'm here to help you get over him, and your mental health, I'll try my best to help you"

"and don't worry, you're never alone in this, just tell me what's bothering you, and I'll be here to brighten up your day, I am your therapist and u can freely open up to me" he gives me a smile, I smiled back then wiped my tears off from my cheeks.

Doc. Jin's smile makes me smile too, and he looks cute, not just by his looks, but also, his attitude and the way he speaks.

"everything here is confidential, and I am the person that u can trust in any topics you'd like to talk about" he smiles again at me, he sounds so friendly.

"yes, thank you Doc" I bowed my head, and he bows back, then we continued our conversation.

-

"so Y/n, how old were you when u started to have a relationship with Suga?" his question sounded odd, but I'll still answer him.

" we were teens, I was 19 and he was 21, my mom said that I was just too young to start a relationship, but I continued to, because i loved him" I replied back.

"do you know that saying when you love someone, you'd do everything to make it happen?" he asked, I nodded my head.

"well, but what if the person you love the most, doesn't feel the same way as you do?" he asked.

he says things like Irene, but his words are more meaningful and straightforward.

"I'm not asking him to love me back, it's just that when I love him, I love him, and it's okay if he doesnt, my heart still belongs to him" I replied in a quiet tone.

" but what if it just hurts you more? won't that be awful?" his questions make so much sense.

"y-yes, i know, it is, but at this point, i don't care about myself anymore, all i care about is him, i'm sorry Doc" i looked down at the colorful carpet below my feet.

"Y/n... you should know your self worth.. i know that you still love him but, it's time to move on now honey.. i know it's hard to, b-but let's trust the process, everything's gonna be fine" he replied.

"my brain says yes, but my hear says no, so how?" 

"well, you have to listen to your brain, use your brain to protect your heart honey, this is the time to forget about him, he's now happier with someone else, and u deserve to be happy too" he replied with a smile.

i swear, his words are awesome, this is just the first appointment i have with him, but his words mean so much to me, this is my first time that a man told these words to me, and i think i can trust him now.

he's just few years older than me, and it makes me more comfortable to open up with him.

"it's okay, just let it all out, i'm here to listen" he adds and shows me a smile, then looks forward to my position, i intertwined my hands together, and placed them on my lap.