1950s Summer

Chapter 12- Say You're Mine

Carol looked at you surprised and not at the same time. She looked down and shook her head back and forth and she began to smile. She slowly stepped towards you and caressed your face gently with her hand. She looked into your eyes and you could see the longing behind it. At least that's how you felt. She took a deep breath.

"I can't." She paused, trying to get out all that she was thinking, yet no noise was made. "Not right now."

She dropped her hand and walked out of her room, leaving you there all alone with only a faded feeling of her touch to remember. You watched her flow down the stairs and walk out the back door. You knew where she was going, but you didn't know if she wanted you to follow her or not.

You were still trying to gather yourself back together, so you sat at the edge of her bed to think for a second. Was she actually going to kiss you? It didn't seem real. Like all of this was a figment of your imagination. It was all so brittle like a slight breeze would blow away this moment. Or that all of a sudden you would wake up and this would have all been a dream.

You weren't sure if that was a good thing or not, but you were glad that you weren't dreaming. This was somehow your reality and you were grateful for it, although it was making your head spin in circles constantly.

Abby walked by the door, which was left open from Carol leaving, she paused and looked at you as you sat lost still on Carol's bed.

"Hey." Abby's tone was soft and careful.

"Hey." You responded weakly.

"Are you alright? Did something happen?" Abby looked very concerned. She probably thought that Carol had hurt your feelings and rejected a hint that you had dropped, as she does often.

"Yeah." You looked up at her. "I'm alright, really. I just have a lot that I'm thinking about." You offered her a smile, but she didn't buy it.

"You know you can talk to me." Her face was still worried.

"I know Abby." You were thankful that she was a part of your life. She was sometimes rude and made jokes about you, but she cared about you, deep down. You just knew it.

"Do you want me to talk to Carol?" She was treading lightly because she hadn't known what happened.

"No, I got it." You stood up and smoothed down your skirt. "Thank you though" You leaned in and hugged her tightly and she hugged you back just as firmly.

Both of you went your separate ways. Abby was most likely going to her bedroom to read and fall asleep while you were headed outside. You didn't have a plan, but you felt you didn't need one since you already didn't know what you were doing since the beginning.

When you walked outside, the sun was just beginning to set and the light orange and reds were bleeding through the trees that surrounded the property.

You walked off the porch, past the pond, to the very end, where the line between the private property and the wooded area was blurred. You were going to Carol's spot because you knew she was there. And she knew that you would know that.

You saw her silhouette, sitting on a log that made her look small. You stopped a few feet behind her. You started to doubt your choices again. What if she just wanted to be alone? Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come.

"I'm sorry." You could hear her choke on her words. "I really am."

"What are you sorry for?" Your voice was small and quiet.

"For putting you through all of this. I shouldn't have." You heard her sniffle. "It was wrong."

You walked up closer to her and rested your hand on her shoulder, lightly. You didn't really know what to say. You weren't expecting an apology.

"I can't let you hold onto something that is impossible anymore." She looked at you with all of the sadness that filled her soul.

"Don't do this." You whispered. "Please." You felt your voice giving out on itself.

"I want you to know that I do care. For you." She stood up and held your face, the same way she had inside. "But it can't happen."

"Stop." You could feel your eyes watering and your vision begin to blur.

"I'm sorry." She said as she wiped away one of your tears that had fallen onto your cheek.

She leaned in close to you and looked into your glassy eyes. The sunset made her skin glow and warm toned. The orange in the sky turned her blue eyes golden and her hair shimmered like never before. Her beauty still shown through her sadness.

Her mouth met yours and years of love unfolded into seconds of connection that you now shared with her. You felt her parted lips hold onto the taste of this moment, savoring it. Allowing for all of the sensations to simmer slowly and imprint onto each of your minds, to be remembered forever. 

A breeze slipped over your lips and you knew that Carol had pulled away. You didn't open your eyes because you knew that if you did, that it would all be over. Everything you had felt would end and nothing would be the same again.

Her hand was still on your face, so you focused all of your energy in feeling the warmth of her hand radiate onto your skin.

"Goodbye." She softly said and walked off. You heard her footsteps which were leading back inside while you kept your eyes shut tightly with tears now flowing freely down the sides of your face, washing away the touch of Carol.