1950s Summer

Chapter 17- Daylight

Walking through town and the stores, you made sure to stay at a reasonable distance away from Carol. It was difficult to not stare at her or smile at anything she did even if it wasn't characterized as magnificent. To you, it was.

The trip was short and sweet, you had only gotten things you needed to make lunch and dinner although you weren't sure how long you would stay at the beach house.

As soon as you got back, Carol locked the door and closed all the blinds inside except for those at the very back side of the house. She was being cautious which you understood, but you didn't know if you could live your whole life having to do these things. For right now, you could get over it and being with Carol made it easier. The back of the house was a secluded strip of beach that was long enough that we didn't have to worry about it. The front however, was the most open to the public view if someone were to pass by.

The sunlight flooded in through the few open blinds and glimmered on the floor and along the walls. Carol's skin glowed in golden light and sparkled with each ray that touched her skin. It made you want to run your fingers along her cheekbones and caress her face with the palm of your hands.

"Is there anything you want to do?" Carol asked you.

"I didn't really have anything in mind..." Your voice trailed off into thoughts.

"You want to go swimming don't you?" She said with a grin forming.

"Yes" You smiled back. "I do, actually."

Carol walked up to you and placed her hand on the side of your face with her thumb rubbing the apple of your cheek. You looked in her eyes in hopes of another kiss, but you could see the thoughts flash back and forth as she retracted her hand.

You quickly grabbed it as she was beginning to turn away.

"What are you thinking Carol?" You had to know the answer.

"I don't know."

"We both know that's a lie." You replied flatly.

"I just..." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I want this as much as you do, but I'm not sure that this is the right thing for either of us."

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"I just don't want to ruin your future or the relationship we already have." Carol sighed.

"You could never ruin any part of my life Carol" you replied, confused at what she was saying.

"I can't help but think about how you should go be with Richard. How he could give you such a better life than I could." She stated. "You looked so happy with him that I didn't want to interfere."

"Well, I'm glad you did." You said with confidence knowing that you didn't want Carol to second guess the feelings the both of you had.

"I guess, I just want you to know that me and Abby..." She looked down at the floor as she spoke. "We were together for a little bit, but it just wasn't right, so we split. The thing is that I think Abby still has some lingering feelings in which she somewhat resents me for. I don't want you to resent me."

"You were with Abby." Your voice got small. From the way that Abby had talked about Carol and yearned for her the same way you did, it was almost as if she had never been with Carol, like you. But she had been with Carol. It was strange to wrap your head around that fact, but maybe Abby would always have a part of her that loved Carol, just as you would.

"Yes, I was. But it's over now. I realized that I love you and that was the reason why my relationship with Abby didn't feel right." Carol was trying to smile although there was much pain from the past, inner conflict, that showed through her eyes. "It was always you."

"I think I'll always love you Carol. I could never hate you, no matter what happens. That partly scares me, but I'm not entirely afraid because I've always known that you were the one." You smiled back.

"I love you."

"I love you too." You smiled. "Why don't we go swimming now?"

"That sounds great." She grinned back, wiping the leftover tears from her face.

The both of you put your swimwear on and changed at opposite sides of the house. Being that the relationship has shifted, you both were cautious with each other because the closest you had been with Carol was the night before. Even with that, you were both fully clothed and the only thing that happened was a gentle hug and your thoughts floating around the room.

You also weren't sure if Carol was still having second thoughts about it, you hoped that from the talk that you both had, she would settle her thoughts and doubts like you did although you were never really sure what Carol was thinking.

That part was the only main thing that annoyed you about Carol, but it also made her mysterious which enticed you more than before. It was like nothing could ruin the love you had for her.

It was also strange that she had brought up Richard. You had only talked about him a few times with Carol around and you hadn't glorified him in any way. You looked at Carol with more emotion than you acted with Richard.

In the beginning, you wanted to make her jealous, but you had her now.

The thoughts roamed around your head as you walked out onto the sand with Carol. You had to keep making secret glances at her and every part of her just to make sure that it was real and that she would fly away with the breeze like the sand beneath our feet.

"I'm sorry by the way." Carol said out of the blue.

"For what?"

"For bringing you here and saying all those things if I didn't know for sure that I wanted it to happen. I'm still not sure that it's the best thing." You could tell that this was difficult for her. "I don't know if I'm acting from impulse and desires instead of actually analyzing the possibilities that could form from this."

"Sometimes it's not a bad thing to fall into your desires. You don't always have to do what is considered the right thing, especially if it causes you pain or distress or even if it is just something that is considered wrong by society." You looked directly into her bright blue eyes glimmering in the sunlight. "Carol, I don't care if it is wrong or not. I love you, but if you really don't want this to go on I'll go back to the house and pretend as if it never happened. Although I wouldn't prefer it, I would do it for you."

"I wasn't sure at first, when we were younger, but now I know. I just hope that loving you won't harm the rest of your life." You could see her eyes fill with water and sparkle more than before.

"I don't care if it does or not. I just want to be with you now." You smiled while trying to hold back tears at the same time and hugged her tightly.

You hugged her firmly and nestled your head in the curve of her shoulder as she held you with as much passion. You wanted the hug to say all the things you wanted to say your entire life. You wanted it to show the years and years of yearning for her, her love, attention, anything. You didn't know if it was communicating all that you wanted it to, but you closed your eyes and let the hug consume you completely, ingraining into your mind to be stored as a never fading memory.

~AN: I'm finally back to writing, I think I already know how I want to end this story too, I'm brainstorming and shit hehe. I hope this chapter isn't super boring, but it has been a while lol. Lmk your thoughts and if you have anything specific you want in the story. Till the next chapter:)