1950s Summer

Chapter 13- Drive-in Movies

Age 7

The first time Carol had made you cry, you were very young and easily made upset. You also craved her validation the most and Carol made sure to put pressure on you to never screw up, but you always happened to make at least one mistake that would disappoint her.

It was near the end of summer and the four of us girls wanted to go into town to see a movie that was being projected. It was the last week at the house, and Alicia wanted all of us to stay home and pack, and clean. It was a large place, so we really did need the whole week to make sure nothing was left behind.

Elaine gave up hope at the very beginning. She knew that Alicia was right, so she wasn't going to fight for it. Abby didn't care that much in general since it was a romance movie, and Abby said she was above that, like she was trying to be so grown up. It was annoying.

You, however, had no shame in wanting to go see it, so you begged and begged Alicia to allow you to go see it. You bugged her for about three days, until you finally gave up because Alicia was stubborn.

Carol came up to you once you had surrendered and said "The fight's not over yet." with a mischievous grin plastered on her face.

You don't know what she did, but she must have used some sort of magic that caused Alicia to change her mind and let all of you go. It was so exciting and you were amazing with Carol.

If anyone was going to persuade Alicia, it would be Carol.

Elaine, Carol, Abby, and you piled into one car that night and went off to see the movie. You felt so special because Carol cared so much, even if it was just one night with the rest of the girls.

The movie started and you were so excited. Carol asked if anyone wanted any snacks and got out of the car. You couldn't remember if anyone did say a snack that they wanted, but Carol didn't return until the very end of the movie.

A couple times you would look outside of the car, to try and find her, and it wasn't until halfway through the movie that you spotted her talking to a guy that you had never seen before. She looked happy, laughing and smiling. She didn't even see you staring at her.

It caused you to cry in the middle of the movie, a part that wasn't even sad, because you realized that Carol didn't care if you wanted to go. She just wanted to go so that she could talk to someone else. She didn't even want to spend the time with you.

You had felt bad because you gave up on the movie and Carol hadn't yet, but instead of asking Alicia for you, she asked just for herself because she had other plans.

Once the movie was over, you went straight into your room and cried the whole night and woke up to puffy eyelids and a sore nose. The spot on your pillow was still damp from your tears and your face was very red. It looked like you were almost sick.

You did feel sick, but just emotionally.

______

You stood at Carol's spot for a while, keeping your eyes shut for as long as you could stand it because opening them would be admitting that everything was over. It would be saying that it was really a goodbye.

You couldn't wrap your mind around why she didn't want to be with you. She proved to you that she loved you with just one kiss. One kiss was all that you needed to keep loving her, but she was walking away.

Why wasn't she fighting for you? Why didn't she try harder to make things work?

It hurt badly knowing that Carol gave up on you before you had a chance to properly love her. You wished you knew what was going on in her mind, but she was the one person that was impossible to figure out.

You weren't sure what you were going to do after this. You could leave and just never come back, never have to face her again. You could stay and continue the summer like nothing happened, which would be even more torture. You could move into an apartment for the rest of the summer, so that you could still make it for Elaine's wedding, but you didn't have the spare money to do that.

You knew that you couldn't abandon Elaine like that, so you were only left with avoiding Carol as best as you could and then leave for good once summer was over.

You had decided that you were going to go back inside and straight to your bedroom, not saying anything to anyone and just going on to bed. You didn't want to talk to anyone or even look at anyone, but once you walked into the house, Alicia had music on in the living room from her record player and Elaine was dancing with her fiance. Alicia was dancing around with Abby, laughing and twirling her around. Carol was sitting down on the couch with a blank expression on.

"Y/N! Come in here!" Alicia shouted at you the second she saw you walk in. "You love this song, right?"

Lover by Peggy Lee was spinning on the needle. It was one of your favorite songs, you were so fond of it because you always associated it with Carol.

All of my future is in you

You're every plan I design

Promise you'll always continue to be mine

But now it just made you more sad. You didn't want to ruin the moment for Alicia, so you sucked it up and sat down in the chair farthest away from Carol. Carol didn't even look at you, she kept her blank stare at the floor.

"Carol, come dance!" Alicia pleaded with a smile on her face. "You too Y/N!" Alicia's happiness alone made you want to cry.

"I'm okay Alicia. I'm not a very good dancer to begin with." You said trying to find a way to leave and go upstairs so you could be by yourself, but Carol got up and grabbed your arm forcefully as she lifted you up to dance with her.

"Do this for my mom," Carol said quietly "Please."

"Alright." You said not looking at her face.

"I thought you knew how to dance too." She said lightheartedly. "You didn't forget who taught you, did you?"

"No." You said letting out a small grin. "I remember." You remembered everything. You were surprised that Carol remembered.