So, unfortunately, I had to change computers because my school has no idea what it's doing, and I forgot to save the unfinished version of this chapter and had to rewrite the whole thing. Sorry It took so long, blame Captain Incompetence and my procrastination habits. Anyway, enjoy.
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The first thing that went wrong was that in the mad dash to the quin jet, amid the screaming sirens, screaming avengers, and chaos in general, the collective decision was made that Ed was not to be left at the tower. There were probably several, poorly thought out reasons for this genius move, but the main fact was simply that absolutely none of the avengers trusted Ed enough to leave him alone at the tower.
The second thing that went wrong was that Thor, who had been more or less hovering around Edward, decided to completely skip the quin jet and opted to fly alongside the jet via mjilnir while carrying Edward under one arm like a large, screaming hamster.
"Are we sure that's alright?" Natasha asked mildly, glancing out the window of the quin jet.
"It's fine. Probably." Tony flapped a dismissive hand, "Anyway we've got bigger things to worry about. Jarvis?"
Several live feed screens opened, showing destruction on each.
"Atuma has been spotted at Brooklyn bridge, and Dracula and his forces are in Times square. The locations of Red skull, Modoc, and Hyperion are unknown."
"Tsk. Making us split up huh?" Hawkeye grumbled.
"We need two teams." Captain America ordered, "Thor, Iron man, Falcon, you take care of Atuma and his army and evacuate the bridge. Widow, Hawkeye, hulk, you're with me." He grabbed his shield, "And everyone be on guard. The other members could turn up at any time."
Caps team nodded, and Thor's voice came through the coms briefly, "Aye!" he said, the sound of Edward's cursing and screaming clearly heard for a moment, reminding the other avengers that they had a tag-along.
"....and uhh....just put the kid on top of a nearby building or something."
Since Thor was the one carrying him, Ed ended up hurtling through the air towards Brooklyn bridge with Iron man and Falcon.
"PUT ME DOWN YOU CRAZY-" Edward screamed, thrashing in Thor's grip.
"Look beneath you!" Thor ordered. Edward glanced down, resistance stopping for a moment. Ed gaped. The ocean was making giant waves and whirlpools, there were fish people advancing on the city, the bridge was on fire-
"Do you still wish for me to put you down?" Thor asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"U-uh...nope."
"I think there's a spot you can put him over there!" Falcon commented, "That line of buildings is pretty much out of the way."
"Aye, I see it!" Thor said, halting in the air momentarily to change directions, "Child, you must remain on the buildings for your own safe-"
"Thor! Look ou-!"
Hyperion had shown up, announcing his presence by throwing a large car straight at the distracted Thor. Thankfully, he noticed a second before it was too late, bringing his hammer swinging to the side to smash into the car with a powerful, two handed blow!
And dropping Edward in the process.
Had Edward been a simple civilian, he would most likely have met a painful and humiliating death, falling from the sky and landing on the asphalt with a splat. However, Edward was not a civilian. He was the Fullmetal Alchemist, and being in another world didn't change that.
The second Iron man had tried to warn Thor about the incoming car, Edward had tensed and whipped his head around just in time to see the car flying at his face. He had a brief second to think 'oh shit' before the Mighty, forgetful Thor was using both hands to violently whack the car away. Without the arm holding him in place, Edward was able to experience gravity again, and went hurtling towards the bridge.
Again, it was a good thing he was the Fullmetal Alchemist.
Managing not to panic (mostly) Edward brought his hands together in a clapping motion and reached his automail arm out. He was so close to the side of the bridge! If he could just-!
Edward's hand brushed one of the cords on the suspension bridge and that was all it took to get the alchemic reaction going.
In a flash of light that went completely unnoticed by the occupied Avengers, Edward split one of the thick cables of the bridge, using his automail hand to grasp it firmly as is swung free, eventually swinging low enough for him to drop off with a practiced roll and land safely on the (burning) bridge. He glanced down at his automail hand and cursed. The glove was shredded, and the metal underneath was somewhat scratched up. If this had been his flesh hand however, he would have absolutely destroyed it on the cable.
"Well at least I'm alive." He noted, deadpan.
"Not for long, foolish child!"
Ed whipped around just in time dodge a spear, thrown straight at his head. He rolled to the side, coming up onto his feet quickly and bringing his hands together to transmute, only to falter in sheer disbelief.
His opponent was blue and dressed in strange, fish-scale themed armor, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, wearing fucking FLIP FLOPS.
Why.
Atuma wears flip flops. It's the dumbest thing ever, and is not properly shamed in Avengers Assemble. Go on, look it up. I dare you. This is a self indulgent fic, and I plan to make fun of it as much as I see fit.
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