It's Us Crew Oneshots

dick and don show au 1

FILE TYPE: FF AU 1
SUBJECTS: Don, Richard, Dashlie, Duni, DDawn
TWs: Swearing, mentions of depression
NOTES: none
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Don awoke that Friday morning feeling... strange. He didn't know how to quite place it, and that just made it all the more infuriating - never mind the sun blaring in his eyes.

What time was it? Hell if he knew. But if you must know, it was very much past noon. The perfect time to wake up.

The jester stumbled out of bed, throwing on clothes and spending a good minute staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, allowing his intrusive thoughts to brew - why do you look like this? they all hate you. no one would care if you disappeared. what's the point in anything anymore? There were some much more upsetting, but I'll spare you the details.

Don rubbed the sleep from his eyes and headed for the kitchen. Funny. He slept for about fourteen hours yet was still plagued with exhaustion. The world seemed to hate him, no matter what he did. It'd be so easy to just-

Knock knock.

Huh?

"Hello? Don?"

No, yes, that's a voice. From the door.

"Don, open up."

But he didn't. He just stood there stupidly, too surprised to even move.

Will he open the door?

"What?"

What?

Don glanced around, suddenly aware of his surroundings. Who had just spoken? It wasn't the voice outside the door, for sure. No, they still remained... well, outside. This voice - this one came from inside the house. The voice came from Don. He had just spoken to no one in particular, not even addressing the person at the door.

"No I didn't."

...What?

"No, I didn't. I didn't address 'no one in particular', I was addressing you."

Jesus, this guy has lost it.

Don scratched the hair under his hat, the bells on the end ringing in the process. He narrowed his eyes, searching his pathetic, tiny house for some sort of intruder. There wasn't one. He was losing his mind.

"Okay, that's a bit harsh, bro."

...

I'm sorry, this usually doesn't happen. As a narrator, I narrate things. I'm trying my best not to talk to him.

"Well, that's just rude," Don mumbled. He then perked up, snapping his fingers. "Ahah! You just addressed me! Suck it fuckbro!"

...This has got to be the worst Don I've met, and I've narrated for Donny Parable. As annoying as he was, at least he didn't talk. Who addresses their narrator as "fuckbro"?

"Hey," Don snapped. "Uncalled for."

Just answer the damn door.

Don rolled his eyes, exhaustion pulling at his lids. But he surged forward as the door knocked again, startling the person on the other side. The jester stood there for a second, a bit taken aback. There, looking back at him, slightly confused, was the most beautiful man he'd ever seen.

"Hell no."

Richard furrowed his eyebrows, his confusion deepening. "What?"

Don shook his head frustratedly. "No, I'm not- I didn't mean- ugh," he stammered like an idiot. He flashed a glare to the rose bushes and averted his gaze back to Dick. "Forget it. What are you doing here?"