It's Us Crew Oneshots

Prison AU [D-Gang] (one)

     Richard never intended to get caught. To be frank, he never even meant to murder someone. Authorities will say it's premeditated. Richard would argue it was self defense and the evidence that piled up against him was some cruel joke put on him by the universe.

     Murder or not, he was in prison. Not exactly the best place to be, as one could guess.

     He walked through the bleach-white halls, cuffed and escorted by two officers. The drive here had been a bit rocky, but nothing he wasn't used to. He longed for the days he and his family would ride through the bumpy terrain of the mountains in their beat-up van. Fresh air seemed an unlikely gift now; the best quality he'd get would be this suffocating smell of cardboard and ass that seemed to linger in the halls.

     Richard was dropped off in the cafeteria and abandoned like a baby bird caught in a storm. He scanned the area nervously, attempting to quell the shaking in his stomach. You've been through worse, he reminded himself before lining up to get a fresh plate of prison goop.

     In all fairness, Dick didn't entirely understand why he had just been dropped off like this -- in the cafeteria, not in prison. He knew why he was in prison... or rather, why he shouldn't be in prison. Either way, he could at least gauge this wasn't your typical prison. That much could be easily observed by the quick glance he'd given the place before lining up in front of the lunch ladies. A stinky lizard man that stood at seven feet was right in front of him, for example. Plus, Richard was pretty sure the girl behind him had a hand for a face. He wasn't that much surprised, more disgruntled if anything. He was human. Why did he need to be thrown into a prison that mixed with other species? 

     Richard mulled over this thought as he turned to find a seat. Such an act, though, could obviously not be so easily executed, for he slammed straight into someone as he stepped forward. 

     "Watch it," a voice snipped, and Dick glanced up to see a red-screened robot glowering at him. Dick was usually the timid type -- surprise! But he knew that wouldn't fair well in, well, prison. He'd seen Orange Is the New Black and knew his usual demeanor would end up getting him killed. Fake it till you make it, right?

     But Richard really didn't feel like starting a fight right now. He was hungry and anxious to slorp down this pathetic excuse for a sloppy joe, so he just met the robot's "eyes" and scowled, walking past as the two thankfully parted ways.

     Next order of business: find a seat. Richard already had experience from high school that you should carefully pick whoever you sit next to, for that would decide your fate for the rest of the four years you were there. Sitting alone was a sure way to die... in both prison and high school, yes. But maybe Richard was unfairly pitting the two scenarios against one another, and maybe the media shouldn't put so much stress on teenagers about issues that don't exist.

     Richard shook that rambling from his head. This isn't a podcast, dumbass, he scolded himself before containing a snicker. Imagine if it was, though. "Hello, yes, welcome back gang. Back at it again in prison! Time to do drugs and shiv your bunkmate!" A group of prisoners glanced at him when he snorted to himself, and he quickly kept walking.

     Now that his train of thought was completely mutilated (Much like that body, huh -- AYO! Sorry, that wasn't funny. I'm coping. Please leave me alone. Okay.), Richard stood stupidly on the edge of the cafeteria, trying to find a place to sit. He exhaled roughly, realizing he'd have to communicate with people to actually get a spot to eat.

    Luckily for him (or unluckily, depending on how you look at it in hindsight), someone made the initiative first. And, no, he didn't get pushed and shoved into a trashcan like a new kid in a coming of age high school comedy. Instead, a person sitting in the table in front of him glanced over and looked him up and down.