A Teaspoon Of Stardust

19) The Ache In Your Heart and the Confusion In Your Soul

This chapter is dedicated to
-_Grimm_Tales_- because she's awesome and so so funny! She always votes and comments on my chapters even if they're crap, so thank you :-) Follow her and take a look at her drawings, she's amazingly talented!

“ And as the ax bites into the wood, be comforted in the fact that the ache in your heart and the confusion in your soul means that you are still alive, still human, and still open to the beauty of the world, even though you have done nothing to deserve it. And when you resent the ache in your heart, remember: You will be dead and buried soon enough.

― Paul Harding, Tinkers

I knew what I had done last night was wrong. And yet here I was: alone, minutes inching closer to 7 in the morning, in front of the clock tower. That stupid, stupid, clock tower. With everyone gone now, though, I guess it was alright. I knew they'd all leave eventually, so why was I feeling this painful knot in my stomach? Surely, it wasn't normal.

What? You want me to tell you what happened? Well, wouldn't you like to know.

Perhaps I should start from when we got home from the boardwalk... though now it feels like it were days ago...

°°°°Earlier °°°°

"Are you suuuure?" I insisted.

Luke rolled his eyes and nodded. He added in a bland voice, "Yes, I'm suuuure."

He took all of our things out out the trunk and carried them in his strong, muscley, bare arms to the door (even though I told him I would help).

"You said it wrong, you know." I said, hands crossed over my chest and standing in his way. "You've gotta accent it."

"What, like the one Alex had?" He muttered and kicked the toe of his shoe against the steps impatiently. I realized what a low dig that was right there and my mood soured.

"Well, thank you for bringing that up again. As if I wanted to remember them." I spat and Luke looked surprised, then realized what he had said.

"No! No, I didn't mean to- I didn't mean it like that. You just seemed to like him before and all the girls are like 'Oooh accents bla bla' and..." Luke rambled and it was kind of cute how defensive he was getting.

"What?" I mused, noticing this was based on liking guys for their accent. Which was not the case with his southern one, pffft, not at all. "Not like that silly, he's got an Australian one. Accent like this."

"Whatever." He sighed and fidgeted with Ketchup. Was Luke jealous? Nah. He probably just doesn't want Dylan to kick his butt when he comes back. If he's coming back.

"See! You did it!" I cheered with a bit of sarcasm. "C'mon lets go inside."

I stepped to the side and let Luke up onto the porch, then went to unlock the door carefully.

"I'm so tired," Luke complained, yawning and setting down our things on the table with a thud. The air in the house was warm and humid, holding the sort-of-sticky-sort-of-cool essence that summer normally brings. The ceiling fans were on but they made little difference, unlike the bright lights which were shining obnoxiously in every room.

"Yeah, I think I'll go to bed now. How about you?" I lied through my teeth. Well, it wasn't really a lie. I was going to sleep in a few minutes, I just wasn't going to stay asleep.

Luke shrugged and got himself a glass of water from the tap, which I had recently discovered was well water. He seemed really comfortable at the house and I couldn't decide whether or not that was a good thing.