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› 3 › the right thing

"i was trying to do the right thing!"

".... and so a relevant question to ask in relation to what we've discussed so far is this; why do humans have the urge to constantly be right?"

professor evans' voice reverberates in the quiet discussion room. almost no one is talking. everyone's too busy scribbling down notes or typing them into their laptops.

me?

well, i love this topic - but i can't seem to focus completely because all i can think about is how my professor has a striking resemblance to ben platt. the brown hair, the beard. it all checks out. and his last name is 'evans'? like, evan hansen? this has got to be a coincidence.

i look down at the notebook i'm supposed to be using to take down important details, and all i've written so far is: i should go see dear evan hansen.

don't know if it's possible but i internally wince at the words, remembering clearly how a certain someone introduced me to the musical before i was even into musicals.

what is up with me lately?

"mr. bowen, your phone is ringing."

as if i've been sucked out of a dream, my eyes widen in surprise and every inch of me is alert to what's happening. my ringtone echoes throughout the room. all the other students are staring at me.

"oh shoot, sorry!" i manage to get out, frantically pulling out my phone from my pocket to see who's embarrassing me this time.

the name on the screen bewilders me for a moment. miss jenn?  haven't contacted her since graduating east high.

i decline the call immediately though in spite of my curiosity. i sigh in relief, put on a sheepish grin, and wave a hand vaguely in the air to sort of tell people to go back to what we're supposed to be doing.

"thank you for paying attention, mr. bowen," professor evans says, earning a couple chuckles and sneers from other students. "now as i was saying—"

my phone goes off again - causing everyone's eyes to land on me once more. 

"yikes, i'm so so sorry about this," laughing nervously, i repeatedly press on the "decline" button. this time the call was from my dad.

and not a moment later, i hear the ring again.

whatever's going on, it better be important or else because this is just stupid.

"might i suggest putting your phone on silent?" professor evans raises an eyebrow.

"yeah right! i know technology yes..." i say, the attention and anxiety clearly taking their effect and making me look more dumb than i already was.

° ° °

"another girl dumped soda on you or what?"

i ignore jack's remarks as i burst into our dorm in irritation.

sitting down by my desk, i check my phone and see that i've got 15 missed calls. all from my dad and miss jenn of all people. 

i wonder if they broke up? ever since i moved to la, i haven't talked to my dad as much as i should have i guess. some part of me simply leans toward my mom more. she makes me feel like i'm understood. miss jenn on the other hand... well, there was no reason to keep in touch. there's been a couple of text messages here and there, but nothing more than that. when i left salt lake, she and my dad were still going strong. they both didn't bother to contact me if i didn't do so first, so this is new.