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› 5 › ketchup

"romantic is debatable, but i like where you're headed!"

"wanna run away together?"

for a split second there i imagine standing in seb's farm late at night - i don't know why that moment comes to mind but i shake it off immediately. 

taking nini's hand, i let out a chuckle. "i like where you're headed."

she tightens her grip and not a second later we burst out of the cafe in full speed.

while the wind blows against us, i can hear people calling out and wondering what's going on. and honestly? even i don't know. but i like it.

i'm vaguely aware of my surroundings; buildings and people blur around and all i really see is nini's back as she drags me along to wherever. i can feel my heart pumping against my rib cage, and for the first time in a long while, i'm excited. the thrill of going into the unknown with none other than the last person i thought i would ever talk to again is running through my veins - it makes me feel unstoppable.

it takes me a moment to realize we've reached an abrupt stop until i hear nini say, "are you coming in or what?"

i register the vintage white mercedes in front of me - isn't this the one she used in one of her music videos?

but before i let my thoughts wander off again, i take the shotgun seat and fasten my seatbelt after shutting the car door close. rubbing my chest to catch my breath, i can't help but laugh. "that was amazing."

"i'm surprised by how spacey you are," nini says as she turns the key in the ignition and the car rumbles alive. "i don't remember you being a pisces."

"i'm not," i reply. i don't think i can explain the way i zone out a lot without making things complicated.  "but i don't remember you owning a mercede benz like this either? what, did you just steal the one in your music video—"

"i paid for this if that sounds so surprising to you," she presses hard on the acceleration pedal, leaving ucla behind us. "it's part of my brand as an artist."

"didn't you always like a vintage aesthetic anyway?"

"i guess. i think it's a bit overused now."

i nod in understanding. it's weird talking about nini's "image". when she first started out, she was the "bubbly teenage pop star". then by her second album, she was this heartbroken - a bit more aggressive - idol. and after her third album, she adopted a more sophisticated look. i didn't think much of it before because i always thought it was all a part of her team's marketing strategy. but talking to her now... she actually has changed along with her 'brand'.

her humor has become blunt, and she speaks with less energy now. sure, she laughs and smiles when the conversation makes her - but it only lasts for a moment. maybe she's just more relaxed than she used to be. it makes sense. she finally achieved her dreams. there's no point now in being emotional about the little things like getting a coffee with your ex.

but there still is that hint of adventure in her for sure. her saying, "wanna run away together," proved it.

"you listen to my music?"

i look at her with surprise. "of course i do. i've always loved your music. we all did - you know, the theatre gang."

"do you still keep in touch with them? how are they?" she asks, glancing at me then fixing her eyes back on the road.

"not most of them, no. i still text big red here and there. he enrolled in a community college because he wanted to continue working at slices," i say. "... who else... oh, he broke up with ashlyn."

"she told me about that," she says, stopping at a red light. "i talked with her a few times over the last couple of years. she wants to become a musician too. she asked for my advice - we'll probably see her up on the charts once she graduates college."

"yikes, they broke up over long distance now that i'm thinking about it. different dreams led them to different places," i add. looking back, i totally understand what happened between them. i'm all too familiar with the feeling of holding the person i love back.

not wanting to dwell on that further, i try to recall what everyone else is doing as the light goes green and the car lurches forward. "i think ej is a senior at stanford? no idea if he and gina are still together. gina's at some dance school or something."

"carlos and seb are still going strong though. kinda jealous actually. they're the ones who occasionally resurrect our groupchat with memes," i continue. "it's so weird to think that out of everyone in the group, i talk to kourtney. we're in the same school of course, but i could have never guessed it would turn out this way back then."

"mhm..." nini hums. okay, something is definitely going through her mind right now, but what? she clicks her tongue and asks, "how is she?"

"kourtney?" i let out in confusion. "don't you still talk to her?"

she remains quiet. that's strange.

i decide to break the silence anyway. "she's good, she looks after me. she always gives me a new... perspective on things. "

"sounds great," nini remarks distantly. i see her tap on the steering wheel lightly in deep thought.

is it just me or has the mood gone down? and why am i doing all the talking?

"where are we going anyway? you do realize i have classes tomorrow, right?"

"you can skip them if you want to."

"but why?"

"we're heading to my place."