𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. « 𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘯 »

› 18 › wishful thinking

"come on ricky, hold up!"

i vaguely hear a voice calling after me as i speed-walk out of campus.

i can't tell if it's real though or another... well, flashback.

i haven't had one since...

the day nini and i kissed.

a grin unconsciously takes form on my face as i remember what happened. i think it might have been the best day—

ding!

for the thousandth time today, my phone buzzes and chimes in my hand.

my eyes dart rapidly from my screen to my surroundings and then back to the phone - which is ringing endlessly once more. seems to be a reoccurring event lately.

"stop... calling..." i mumble under my breath, repeatedly cancelling the calls that keep piling up.

all from my dad and miss jenn.

look, i have nothing against them. i love them, i do - but every time they had called in the past few weeks, they leave me... i don't know, disappointed?

and i'm done getting my hopes up.

i know i'm being petty. this isn't like me. and in actuality it's probably my fault anyway... maybe it was always supposed to be me calling them and then they respond. maybe that's how it was supposed to work.

and because i didn't... look what happened.

but that doesn't matter anymore. i have other things going on right now and—

"RICKY!"

out of reflex, i press 'cancel' on my phone in surprise before realizing that this time the call wasn't from my dad or miss jenn - it was from kourtney's mom.

she's gonna kill me.

you know what? it's fine. i'll just send her a text later.

i turn around see howie catching his breath behind me.

"did you run a marathon?" i ask with a chuckle.

instead of laughing along, he glares at me. "i've been trying to get your attention the whole week! but you keep running off or looking at your phone."

pressing my lips together, i shove my phone in my pocket and grip onto the strap of my backpack tighter. "i've been busy."

"busy?" he reacts incredulously. "so busy that you submitted three papers late in mr. evans' class, the professor you've always wanted to impress?"

"i have other subjects too, you know - they all have heavy workload so i chose to slack off a bit with mr. evans knowing he's never serious. so what?"

"so busy that kourtney, the last person on earth i thought i'd have a full conversation with without arguing, had to ask me where you've been?"

i get slightly taken aback by this newfound information but remain neutral anyway. "good for you guys then. you're talking."

"so busy that jack and i never see you in the dorm anymore because you're spending all your nights with nini—"