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› 26 › safe space (2)

"oh my god. i can't believe we let this happen."

footsteps shuffle and stomp about outside.

"i have nothing against miss jenn or his dad but maybe he was right in feeling apprehensive about this - how could they let this happen?"

doors open and slam shut.

"okay and nini? i can't believe she ran off.  left just like that, back to her hollywood life in la."

rushed and worried voices, one male and one female. vaguely familiar.

"but without her, we wouldn't have known where he is - not this one either. did she say which room?"

closer..

"i don't think so. she only said she last talked to him in the elray."

the clear sound of the knob moving.

"wait. this must be it, it's locked."

"where can we get a key?"

"that's going to take forever. use your hair clip."

"excuse me?"

"you know? what they do in those spy movies?"

"whatever, you do it."

something being inserted in the lock... trial and error... a click.

in a heartbeat, i'm pushed across the floor, the opening of the door slamming me onto the ground. i didn't realize something was actually going on outside. at this point, i can't tell the difference between real people and the voices in my head.

my hands tremble as they attempt to carry my weight, but i manage to put one in front of my face as i open my eyes and try to adjust to the light coming from outside.

everything slowly clears up and it takes a second before i can register who the two people gawking at me are.

kourtney and howie.

° ° °

"you need to eat, ricky."

a hawaiian slice of pizza rests on a plate in front of me. i can barely see its appeal.

a shiver runs through my spine; it's freezing. i lift my hands up and examine them. they're as dry as ever. but why do i feel so drenched?

from what i've been told, it's already the day after the wedding. i didn't realize i was sitting alone in that room for hours. i'm not sure if i slept if i'm honest. it's all a blur. literally and metaphorically.

i look up and see kourtney's mom giving me an unreadable gaze. beside her is kourtney herself who has concern written all over her face. beside me is howie - staring at me so intently.

"why are you here?" i ask hoarsely. it's the first words i've mustered up the courage to speak since they found me. they tried to get me to talk and answer their questions but i couldn't. i didn't have it in me. i only nodded and shook my head when needed, and somehow we ended up at slices. but seeing howie here... wait. before he can respond, i add, "i'm sorry if that sounded rude. i meant... you weren't here yesterday."

his lips curve up into a ghost of a smile. "i was trying to reach you yesterday. you didn't get back to me but i didn't think much of it. but kourtney," he takes a hesitant glance at her. "she called me this morning, saying you were missing. and i don't know. i impulsively bought a ticket."