The American Enigma

Trouble In Paradise

I'M ALIVE!!!!! Long story short, I had to take a break for my mental health and am in a much better place now. When I left this, I was panicking about everything because of the fourteenth anniversary of my brother's death (which, at that point, was almost exactly half of my life without him) and how he'd look at my life. Would he approve or disapprove of everything? Would he be proud or disappointed in me?

Thankfully, I'm now in a position where I can do the most good. Almost a front end manager at my store, and can say that I'm not trying to do everything by myself. So it's time to return to fanfiction, but also writing two books. One of which is a YA novel currently called Rise of the Disappointments which is focused on a group of friends entering high school and finding their way through the best years of their lives and finding a place for them in this crazy world.

Second book is going to be a children's book dedicated to help kids. From being afraid of going to a new school to seeing their heroes cry after losing someone close to them to helping them understand that the only thing that is important is the character of someone. Currently, it is called The Adventures of Skye and Lynn and the two main characters are named in honor of my nieces.

To sum it all up, thank you for your patience and messages while I was away. I'm back, and I'm not going to be taking such a long break again (hopefully) until it is time to "retire" from fanfiction. On to the story!!!

The blow-up of Hermione was all over the rumor mill the following day. The Slytherins, Malfoy in particular, enjoyed trying to rile me up. Unfortunately, he didn't realize that I had better things to do than listen to a wannabe peacock.

He just kept repeating the same thing; Mudblood this and blood traitor that. I found myself wondering just how stupid a person could be. I noticed that he seemed to take great pleasure in targeting me in particular.

"Draco, shut up." I stated, surprising him and the other Gryffindors. The professors were listening in, and McGonagall had to be held back from doing anything. "I'm not interested in you. You can take your pathetic flirting attempts and find someone else to disappoint."

Snape would take points from me whenever I struggled in his class, which was extremely often due to the lack of sleep, and Flitwick had pulled me aside to discuss my problems.

Not one of them cared enough to ask about the nightmares I got.

Where I was put under the cruciatus curse every three days for a short time. How cutting curses caused my body to get scarred.

The worst, however, had to be the ones where I could hear the screams of those I cared about. Begging me to save them. And whenever I managed to get there, where their mutilated bodies asked me why I let them die.

"Y/N!" I heard Hermione call out, her brown eyes widened with surprise. It hurt me to look away from them, but her words still burned my soul.

"Hermione." I rasped. Being away from her made me realize how much I enjoyed being around her. The way she would smile that megawatt smile that made the sun seem like it was nothing but a small torch in a field of darkness. How her eyes were capable of ensnaring my heart with how bright they were.

"How are you doing?" She asked, fidgeting and struggling to keep herself from rambling on about things. It was adorable.

"Fine. You?"

"I've been good. I just wanted to apologi-" her words were cut off by a Hufflepuff who needed to enter the classroom.

"Listen, I need to go. Can we talk later?" I asked, feeling my chest clench at the sight of her eyes dimming.