Jeanine Matthews daughter [Divergent]

Chapter 38: Mom, It will never be the same

When I woke up, I wasn't in the hospital. Low and behold, I was back in my bed at Erudite. It was the comfort I had come to love. I didn't want to get out of bed. I continued laying in bed as I tossed and turned. The warm covers were over my tiny body. My leg had a huge bandage and cast over top of where I had gotten shot. Then I remembered everything.

I had bruises and cuts all over my body from the testing. I still felt weak and useless. My body didn't want to do anything. I tried to get up but it wasn't working.

I eventually was able to swing my legs around and pull myself up. I reached over for my crutches. I used them to help me walk. I walked with the crutches towards my door. I was able to open the door. I looked down the hallway. The hallway was completely quiet.

I walked towards the stairs. Just then I heard the familiar sound of my moms high heels.

"What are you doing?" She asks me as she runs over to me.

"What?" I ask completely confused.

"The doctor says you need to stay in bed for at least 2 weeks." my mother said.

What was she trying to do. I just wanted to get away from her.

She started leading me back towards my room. That was the last place I wanted to be at that moment.

"Please. I don't want to go to my room." I beg.

She ignores me and continues leading me to my bed. She sits me down in my bed and takes my crutches away so I can't get up again. She pulls the blankets overtop of my body. She sits down on my bed and just stares at me.

I felt really uncomfortable. I didn't look at her and tried avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"Like you don't know." I say while looking down.

She stays quiet and continues looking at me.

"You shot me. You tortured me. You hurt me. You broke me." I say with tears in my eyes.

She embraced me in a hug.

"I know. I'm so sorry." She says as she continues to embrace me.

"Mom, it will never be the same." I say.

"It can be. If you just give me another chance. I promise, I'll be the mother that you deserve." she says softly. I know she was trying to win me back and the worst part was that it was working.

I wanted nothing more than to tell her that I didn't want to be around her but something was telling me I couldn't.

I said nothing and continued letting out my tears and emotions.

She took me in her arms, just like when I was little. She started rocking me back and forth. I just wanted to be held. Just like when I was younger.

She continued trying to calm me down. I eventually calmed down. I wiped my eyes and rubbed them. They had turned red and puffy. I sniffed a little bit and then looked at my mother.

"Please, let me be the mother I should have been. You deserve so much more." my mom says.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. I opened my eyes moments later.

"I just want to take a nap." I say.

"Okay. Sleep well. I'll check on you later." She says while kissing my on the forehead. She gets up and turns out the light. She then shuts the door. I reach over to my night side table and get my macbook. I open it up and start watching a movie. I eventually let sleep take over as I fall asleep to the movie.