Sanctuary [Poetry]

aug-6-21

oddly, i was
born with an
allergy in which
i react to
things that warms
my heart.

my skin burns
from simple touch
of affection
as if their hands -
their own skin was
made out of hell
it wasn't comforting
at the very least

it just hurts
because i know
how the touch
won't really last
it's like getting
to the front gate
of heaven - to be
judged

and you're very
abandoned
to a place where
struggle resides.

my eyes would
become a basket
of tears and thunders
and lightning
whenever i see
someone smiling

at me.

as if they're clouds
floating, ascending
with victory
and happiness
and they mirror
a future i don't

belong.

my feet would
feel numb
as if i was stabbed
by millions
of needles
whenever someone
tries to get close
to me

because in my
head, i know
how i would be
stuck again in the
same position where
they started and they'll
go eventually.

finishing a race
i wasn't a
participant of.

my lips is a
blabbering mess
of abstract thoughts,
an inborn disease
where i couldn't
express what i wanted
people to know
whenever they
try to say they could
save me or
help me at the very
least -

so i would often
stay in
silence -
walk in a place
only i know
because i won't
be making any sense

and will be
blamed for being
helpless -
as if their intention
to lift me up
is a privilege i
should accept.

oddly, i was
born with an
allergy in which
i react to
things that warms
my heart -

since i know,
the warmth never

lasts.