Sanctuary [Poetry]

ii

I sat comfortably in front of him.
He looks at me, searching for my silent whim.

I smiled and he smiled, too.
Let's be realistic, I know it's not true.

He cleared his throat, trying to get my attention.
But I laughed instead, trying to give him assumptions.

I know, he's thinking I'm insane.
He's the doctor, the one who's sane.

But can someone blame me for being crazy?
I just want an easy escape away from reality—
but, oops!
I guess I overdid it.
Now I'm trapped under my own, lovely pit.

"How are you?" he asked some questions as usual,
questions I answered so minimal.

I'm done always being asked,
and I'm done always wearing a mask.

When will he going to stop?
He's so boring, I just want to take a nap.

I yawned but he didn't even move an inch.
He just talk, and talk, and talk!
My blood started to boil, it makes me flinch.
Damn it! I want to turn him into smoke!

I leaned on my chair,
threw deadly, dagger stare.

I laughed at him
as my thoughts turning grim.

He shook his head,
thinking maybe, I still need my med.

Maybe he's right and maybe he's wrong.
But who knows? I don't even know where I truly belong.

I don't even know what am I talking about.
Where am I? Oh, I'm going south.

"That's all for today," he said.
I shrugged my shoulders and banged my head.

He said I should always listen to my nurse
so I could get out of my curse.

But who the fuck said I wanted a way out?
I sighed. They should just shut their mouth.

They don't even know what's inside me,
they don't even know there's monsters living inside me in luxury—
eating every flesh of my sanity,
eating every ounce of the hope I want to see—

they don't even noticed.
Maybe I'll be with them, forever not in peace.

With all the voices duelling inside,
I'm afraid they would just explode and collide, making it hard to hide.

There'll be no wall to keep me in background,
there'll be no room to keep me from hearing unwanted sounds.

And so I quickly seek fantasy.
I don't want a tragedy.

"You okay?" he asked again.
"Of course." I answered, and my eyes started to rain.

/2017Oct11