Sanctuary [Poetry]

05-12-2021

I guess everyday has always been the emptiest, or maybe I've forgotten the days where I don't feel like the void is eating me.

But recently, the emptiness feels like it's real nothing—just darkness, just a never ending cliff—and it doesn't hurt, and I don't feel the need to fill it in with something just so I won't feel like there's something wrong.

Maybe right now, there's really something wrong—because I have this intuition that it's alright if I stay like this, it's alright to feel not hopeless but not hopeful either.

It's like being nothing would be fine, and getting blown somewhere else won't mean something else, that whatever the void takes me, it's all just in my head.

The things I want to do, the things I tried to reach, the people I tried to stay with—it's just something ideal for someone like me, just to say I am living.

Ah, but I'm not.

No matter how many times I breathe, no matter how many times I tried to pretend that I'm doing something with my life, if I try to say things are terrible...

It won't just change a thing.

My life is a stand still and is meaningless.