Sanctuary [Poetry]

i

dear diary,
do you still remember me?

it's been a long time since i wrote to you—
i always seek for you.
i always write to you.

whenever i'm happy,
whenever i'm blue.
whenever there's rainbow,
whenever there's something new.

dear diary,
do you still remember me?

i'm here again,
are you feeling happy?
i remembered you
because i feel gloomy.
will you comfort...me?

dear diary, did you know?
i feel worthless today, i feel so low.

well, i know you are already aware,
the moment
my ink painted your fine, old paper,
the moment
my tears kissed each strokes and letter,
i know you're aware,
and it makes me feel better.

because i know you can feel my pain.

dear diary,
i don't feel so happy.

somebody left today
and he will never
come back again.

somebody flew today
and he will never
turn his back again.

no matter how much i crack myself out of pain.

they will be out of my grip.
and i'll always grieve and weep.

with the slightest chance i tried to gamble—
i ended up the loser.
with the truest of words i tried to mumble—
i'm still stuck to never.

maybe happiness
and sadness are
destined to be parallel.

they're together but will never meet
like twins who are born to be opposite.

like how sky becomes heaven
and earth becomes hell.

dear diary, do you understand?
the plane's going down,
where should i land?

my ink ran out,
but i'm still depressed.
i'm sorry, diary,
for i am still a mess.

but please,
have more patience with me.
please,
still read my painful feeling of melancholy.

dear diary, let's meet again,
for now, goodbye. until then.

/2017Oct07