Love Without Love

six →

Sitting on the couch nuzzled into Mark, I bit at my nails, looking around at everyone that sat there. On the floor in front of us was Youngjae and Eunmi, Jaebum sat on one of the matching chairs while Jackson was on the other. Bambam was stuck sitting on the arm of the sofa, busy playing games on his phone.
"We should play a game or something." Youngjae mumbled out, beginning to annoy his younger sibling with small pokes. She laughed as she swatted his hands away, holding them and holding up their connected hands high.
"What do you wanna play? Or should we just watch a movie?" Eunmi suggested, looking up at us who were sitting there quietly. Mark drew tiny circles on my back, smiling over at the two before tilting his head.
"Movie would be better." He said quietly, rubbing my shoulder as he pulled be a bit closer.
"What do you wanna watch?" Mark asked, looking down at me and running his fingers through my hair. I shrugged slowly, looking over at them before I pouted.
"Monsters inc?"
Eunmi smiled at that, taking a hold of the remote for the television and turning on the screen. She looked at the shelves, pointing to the movies and batting her lashes at Youngjae.
"Oppa get it for me." Of course he got it for his baby sister, and even put it into DVD player. Once the opening credits flashed onto the screen, I stared blankly at it, my eyes travelling up to look at Mark. He was worried about me ever since last night, since he wasn't there to comfort me. I didn't mind that he wasn't there, because I was able to get closer to Eunmi. She knew how I felt, and I really didn't want her to leave after her visit but I couldn't stop her. While pouting over it, Mark looked down and kissed my forehead, making me grin.
"You two would be cute together." Jackson said loudly, as Jackson did. I laughed, shaking my head and glaring at him playfully.
"I don't like Mark that way, and he doesn't like me that way. So no, we wouldn't." As I said that, a certain someone caught my eye.
Yugyeom was walking past the crowd of us, fixing his hair in the mirror as he wandered over to grab a drink from the fridge. Jackson was watching him, raising a brow when he noticed the other wasn't in his usual comfortable clothes he wore at home. So he must have been going somewhere.
"Hey Yugyeom, are you going out?" He asked, sitting up in his chair and tilting his head to the side. Yugyeom dipped his head down in a quick nod, and his lips perked into a slim smile. While I was sitting there biting at my lip, I caught another familiar gaze on me, at least I think he was looking at me. Jaebum could have been looking at Jackson, I couldn't tell from my spot.
"Where you going? It's raining so I hope it's indoors." He added, staring at the streaky windows, humming in acknowledgement. I haven't even noticed the stream of raindrops flowing down the glass. It reminding me of me yesterday, or just in general. My sorrows were always a steady stream, and no matter how hard I tried to stop the rain, it kept going. As I buried myself deeper into Mark's side, I watched the boy I love. His face was twisted into the same smile he let me see when he spoke of his father a year ago, and I haven't seen him so happy since we were like how we used to be. I wondered what he was happy about, I wanted to know.

"I'm going to hang out at my girlfriends place."

I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to know, I don't want to know.
Eunmi carefully turned her head to look at me, which I was now staring down at my hands, I was holding them tightly to stop from shaking. Of course, he was so happy because he had a girlfriend. She was probably gorgeous, fit, kind, and funny. She was probably smart, a great person and someone who could give him more love than me. I didn't know her, but I hate her. I hate her so much, my heart was either shattering or boiling.
---
Clearing my throat, I stood up and walked head down to the door.
"I need to go get something." My voice was quiet, as I slipped on my shoes and opened the door, not letting anyone call after me. I shut out everything and just walked out. When I was out, I ran. I ran as far as I could without falling or getting hit by a car. I never noticed I was sobbing until a stopped to catch my breath. It was hard to sob and run at same time, so I sat down on the concrete. Soaking, I crossed my legs, sitting there. The last thing I was is calm. I was quietly crying to myself, wiping at my eyes furiously. I was going to regret this later, when I came back with my eyes puffy and my self esteem crushed to a pulp. While sobbing in the rain, I heard splashes behind me, and breathing. I sniffled, turning my head to check if someone was coming to call the ambulance, because I was only emotionally unstable. Though it surprised me.
"Hey, Yujin... Don't sit out here alone." He murmured, standing beside me and putting a black umbrella over the two of us. It was Jaebum. He came out to find me. I looked down at the ground, shrugging my shoulders before frowning.
"Listen, you don't have to talk to me. But I need you to listen." I never noticed until now, his voice was soothing to the touch. I nodded, waiting for him to say something else. Though instead I felt his arms around me and I blinked, looking at him as I watched him pick me up almost effortlessly.
"Here, you'll be okay. Just cry and I'll carry you back, I don't mind." Jaebum held me close to his chest, practically juggling the umbrella so he wouldn't drop it. Surprisingly he didn't drop it while carrying me like a princess. He hoisted me up, so I was secure and wouldn't fall, not like he'd let me anyways. He was warm, and I was freezing in this rain. So I nuzzled into Jaebum, and I was glad he was the one to come get me. I was happy it was Jaebum.