Love Without Love

twenty four →

"The only reason I dated you is so Jaebum can't hurt you?!"

"Is that true?"

-

Why? Why was it so? Why has he always hated him, why was his life so negative because of him? So many things had been thrown toward Yugyeom, all of them being problems. Yet none of these problems, only few problems affected him now. When his father had left, something else had happened. And he hated Jaebum for this thing.

Jaebum once made a mistake, a mistake that ruined many things.

Once, once in the spur of the moment Jaebum was there, there in Yugyeom's life. In his younger sister's life. Jaebum was there.

It was something no one knew but the two of them, no one in between.

When Yugyeom's father left, he remembered it vividly. The yelling, the crying, the devastation in the air. When his sister cried out for him to stay and not leave them, when he himself was ready to break something in frustration, when his mother was left crying on the floor, her knees giving in, he remembered it.

The words his father said to them.

"All you do is cause problems! Why can't you admit this was all a mistake? Why can't you try harder. You disappoint me, and because you don't need me, I'll leave."

He also remembered the words his sister said.

Three days after their father left, when she was broken again.

"I'm not good enough for him! He just got bored of me, and he cheated on me. I thought I meant more to him, but I guess he doesn't love anyone but himself. Jaebum only hurts people."

-

Yujin had turned around, her eyes blooming with tears which quickly blurred her eyes. She was trying to run away from the scene, but she had nowhere to go. She lived a few doors down, and by the time she had tried to figure out where to go, Yugyeom had caught up with her. Grabbing her arm tightly, he tried to pull her back.

"Yujin! It's not what it sounds like!" He was desperate, trying to make her face him. Though she didn't want to even look in his general direction. She was trying her best not to sob, and was just shaking her head repeatedily. How was she supposed to react to something like that? She was heartbroken, because the man she had been in love with for years was just dating her for no reason.

"Then what is it Yugyeom? What is this? What are we? What the fuck does Jaebum have to do with this?!" She screamed at him, turning around, to show the frustration in her expression. The moment he saw how much pain she was in, his expression fell into deep sadness. Because he did love her, and he was the source of this pain. "I love you Yugyeom, I loved you even when you refused to talk to me again and when you tried to pretend you were okay after your dad left. I tried to be there for you and you threw away my help, but I was still always there and I always loved you." Yujin continued to speak strongly to him, to yell and cry and provoke him. She wanted answers, for all her hardships.

"I love you Yujin, I love you, I love you. I just, it's. I didn't want Jaebum to hurt you, he's someone that I don't trust-"

"But I trust him! Yugyeom he is my friend, he's been my friend even before Eunmi. I love them both like siblings, and you try to protect me from my own friend?!"

"Shut up!"

Yujin froze, a look of digust pooling on her face as she shook her head.

"Fuck you."  She took the bracelet off her wrist, dangled it in front of her eyes and threw it onto the ground beneath them. It was a gift from him. Then she smiled, and threw the ring from her finger. A promise ring, that meant nothing now. "Fuck you, Yugyeom. Because I wasted years on you, and you obviously only used your years to play protector and play with my feelings."

Yujin then walked away again, shaking her head as she tried to stop herself from crying. He wasn't worth crying over, he wasn't, her wasn't. But she was still so heartbreakingly in love with him.

"Yujin! I'm sorry! He... He broke my sisters heart and I didn't want you to get hurt by him! I saw the way he looked at you and I hated it because he was so horrible to her."

"I'm not the same person as your sister, and I saw the way he looked at me too." She turned to look at him, and she pressed her lips together to stop herself from crying. "I loved the way he looked at me, because he looked at me like I was a pretty girl. You, you just looked at me like a little girl who needed to be protected from monsters and the dark. But you don't know shit about Jaebum, and you don't know shit about me."

Yugyeom was at a loss for words, because he just lost her. He lost another person in his life, he lost someone important that he couldn't replace. The realization shook him, and he broke down. Looking down at his feet, he slowly began to cry. It hurt, to be the cause of your own heartbreak. He did the wrong thing, and he felt the burn of it.

-

Yujin ran away from the scene, her eyes red from crying already. She had to wipe off her eye makeup she had done so prettily for her boyfriend, she had to ruin her pride by crying at the bus stop and on the bus. Where was she going? She didn't really know. She let her legs do the walking, she let her mind go blank, she let her heart go numb in her chest. She must have been on the bus for at least half an hour, as she had  enough time to text all her feelings out to a furious Eunmi. But for some reason, Yujin realized she wasn't going to her sister like figure. When she stepped out of the bus, she recognized the pretty flowers, and she recognized the cute little shops around. When she walked down the pathway and just continued on her way, she felt like she knew this place. When she wiped her eyes and made her way to her house, she figured it out. Why did she come here?

Pressing the doorbell with a shaky hand, she wiped her eyes a few more times before sighing and waiting. She heard footsteps and then the door unlocking. When the door opened, she looked up, and flashed a sad smile. He looked down at her, with puffy eyes and a sad expression. He blinked, glancing over her attire. She looked pretty, well she always did to him.

"You okay?" He asked, his voice soft. The moment he asked that, her expression broke and she frowned. Beginning to cry again, she let out a sob and shook her head. Without thinking, she took a few steps forward and hugged him. He blinked, but wrapped his arms around her and held her like she always liked. Burying her face in his chest, she sniffled and shook her head.

"Oppa, my heart hurts."

"Oppa will make it feel better, i'll make you hot chocolate." Jaebum spoke, petting her head softly.

-

a/n: *rises from pile of blankets and tissues* ; u ; hi.

sorry i have been an emotional wreck lately and school was ending and blah.

BUT HOLY SHIT THIS WAS INTENSE AND SO BAD.

ALSO IDK WHERE SPELL CHECK WENT SO IF THERES REALLY EASY MISTAKES I APOLOGIZE.

this chapter is so bad but but.

YUJIN AND JAEBUM HALLLLELUJAH. < 3333333333333333333333333

yugyeom's kinda a dick in this chap but i luv him anyways so.

have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!