Love Without Love

eighteen →

When I got home, I was ecstatic. I saw my best friend today, I got to spend time with my boyfriend and I saw Jaebum. Now I know where he works, and I could see him again and it will all be okay. But why do I crave to see him? I just saw him over a counter and we spoke so formally, it was like he was a stranger. I didn't know why, but the feeling was foreign to me. Why was it like that? I don't have the answers to any of that. So I didn't try to answer such questions, I just went on my way to thinking about what I did know.

Yugyeom was studying for exams, so I thought maybe I should do something nice for him. Get him snacks, or check up on him, maybe even get him a gift. I wanted to do all I could for Yugyeom because whenever I am stressed and busy he is the first to do anything. He always buys me snacks, he always tells me to not worry and we cuddle sometimes. That's all I really needed from him to be happy, it was nice.

But Yugyeom was sometimes not as easy to please. He only accepted things with good reasons, he didn't talk when he had nothing to talk about, and the worst of all was that he never looked happy if he didn't want to. It made my chest hurt sometimes, because he always looked so tired and he was working so hard and I could do nothing to help. He told me he didn't need help, but it always made me wonder. Why?

I was sitting alone in my room, at my desk with my legs crossed on the swivel chair. The only thing I could do was text him and ask him little questions. At first he didn't respond, but then when I texted him that I loved him, he responded in a few seconds. At least I knew he was really listening, maybe he just wasn't in the mood. For talking... or for me? No, that was stupid. He always said i was the most important thing to him, so he would always have time for me. I always have time for him, so why not?

I was drawing, someone wanted me to draw a landscape for them, so they could use it for something. So I was drawing the night sky like they asked, and while I was sketching it with my pencil, I noticed my phone buzzing on the corner of my desk.

I expected Yugyeom when I picked it up, though when I looked closer I got something I didn't expect at all. Jaebum.

I answered it slowly, raising it to my ear.

"Hello?" I said, waiting for him to speak back.

"Hey, Yujin. It's a relief you didn't change your number." He started, and I could hear people chattering around him. I wondered if he was still at work, or maybe on break or just leaving. I peeked at the clock, it was five in the afternoon. He could be off, I should ask him.

"I wanted to talk to you." He continued, and my heart melted. He wanted to talk to me after all these years? I hadn't talked to him since the whole group split up, but I was so happy to hear his voice pointed toward me again. Just like old times.

"Really? Oppa, i'd be glad to hang out. We could go get something to eat sometime." I suggested, dropping my writing instrument to look at my laptop. I was always looking for places to eat, so I opened up a window and was glancing through choices.

"Yeah, we'll go eat out together soon. Where?" He asked, letting out a small sigh, and I guessed he was sitting down because he went quiet for a few moments.

"There's a cute breakfast place nearby, at the side of the city. It looks yummy." I heard him laugh over the phone, and he hummed in agreement.

"Okay Yujin-ah, I'll pick you up whenever you want me to. Just call me before I forget to bring money."

I laughed too, and it once again. Felt like before.

-

Eunmi P.O.V

-

I decided to go and grab something to drink before I saw Jinyoung, mostly because I was secretly avoiding seeing him. He would be mad, if he found out I was skipping around the city to purposely not see him. It's not that I didn't want to see him, it was that I was frightened to. What if he no longer thought I was pretty? Or realized that the time away from me had made us drift apart? I wished Jinyoung was the same boy he always was. No, now he was a man. We were adults, we were in a relationship. We were in a serious relationship?

As I sat down at the cafe, I let out a half gasp, half breath and leaned against the round table. Surely Jinyoung would not dump be after three years, unless he met a beautiful woman while I was gone. I shuddered at the fact.

Jinyoung is not the type to play with someone's feelings, he's very straight forward and would tell me right away if we weren't working as a couple. I trusted him with my whole existence. But did he trust me?

While sitting there, I turned my head, still not decided on what to get to drink. When I did look around at the beige walls, I also saw a man sitting alone, not on his phone like the rest of the population, but reading a book. A good one too.

Tilting my head just slightly, I observed him. He was well put together, in casual clothes that were still nice, and he wore glasses. His hair was medium length, and it was a nice deep caramel. That's when I noticed I was staring for far too long.

I had a boyfriend, and he looked like he had a girlfriend.

So I got up and stood in line, I decided to get an americano since I hadn't had coffee in Canada often. Nothing quite compared to the nostalgic feel of drinking coffee while I sat at a cafe with Jinyoung, or Yujin, or Mark, or all of them. It was so nice, of course these thoughts lead me to think about Jaebum. He was the one to stand up for me when that whole situation came to be.

I looked back over my shoulder to look at the mystery man, and when I looked, he was accompanied with a woman.

Speak of the devil.

It was Nana.

-

a/n : yello.

i'm so sorry this is bad /)(\

also im planning the end of this story so!

please continue to support me~~