Love Without Love

thirteen →

That day I ended up sitting at the table for breakfast with Mark and Jackson. They had a simple conversation, but it was full of so many topics that it could go on for hours. Biting at my bottom lip, I thought of all the mistakes I could have made earlier today. It was only 10AM and I could have ruined my relationship with my best friend. Mark was so forgiving I was really thankful to have someone like him in my life. No matter how close we got he always made sure it didn't turn into something else. I was glad, because a few times in the past I was sure it was Mark I liked and not the cute haired boy I loved now. I didn't know what would have happened if it was him, but I would probably be happy. But the only thing I was concerned with so far was if he would be happy with me, maybe back then I was the only one falling for my bestfriend.

"Yujin?" Jackson brought me back to reality, as I turned my head and stared at him, he was looking back at me, a grin on his lips. "Why'd you just stop talking? Everything okay?" I looked down to look at my half eaten bagel, and felt my cheeks heating up slightly. The pastel sheets of rosy pink settled on my cheeks as I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn't tell him what I was thinking of, plus Jackson and I weren't as close as I would have liked us to be, but I only met him about five months ago. I met the others a while ago, and Jaebum just a month and a half ago.

"She's probably daydreaming about a secret love affair." Mark murmured, making me gape at him and shake my head quickly. It wasn't an affair, it was purely a phase of liking a boy I was close to.

"No, no. I was not thinking about anyone."

"Was it Yugyeom?" He leant his head back, so it rested on my shoulder and he gave me a pointy toothed smile. I pouted at him, pushing his head off and standing.

"No. Go away you loser."

Jackson laughed inwardly, looking at me gently with raised brows. It seemed he hadn't heard of the sad tale of Yugyeom and I. Thank goodness, I didn't need anymore pity. Instead of confronting him about, I wiped my suddenly damp with sweat hands against my thighs and sighed. Then with a small wave, I left to go upstairs hopefully to just grab my things like before and successfully leave without stopping. I wondered about Nana for a moment, not because I was worried about her, but about what she might do to me now that I didn't fulfill her wish. I'm not a genie, it's her problem now.

-

I got upstairs and settled on the edge of Mark's bed, picking up my bag and carefully looking through the contents to make sure I didn't leave anything behind. Sliding the duffle bag strap onto my shoulder, I gripped it softly before getting the guts to leave. While I was walking down the stairs, a sudden thought came into my head and I figured I should go and see Jaebum to tell him I was going before I really did. He has taken care of me for a little over a week now, and I couldn't think of any way to thank him other than willingly spending time with him and talking.

"Yujin! Are you um, leaving?"

I knew the voice well, and my heart constricted at the very sound of it. Stopping in my tracks, I held the strap so hard I feared I may snap it in half. His voice flowed like sweet honey, and his words were so soft it was as if it was clouds. Turning on my heels, I tilted my head up to look right into his eyes. His eyes were as deep as dark coffee, and mine were not as easy to get lost in as his were. It was like I was staring into bright pools whenever he made eye contact with me. Forgetting to respond to his question, I shortly nodded my head and cleared my throat.

"Yeah, since Eunmi and Youngjae left yesterday... I promised Eunmi i'd stay until they got in their new home, so my time's up." I smiled lightly at him and I couldn't tell if I was happy he was talking to me or sad that I had left after barely talking to him. Even if there was nothing to talk about with Yugyeom, we should at least try. It was like he was reading my mind, because when he spoke it was like a dream.

"Well, how about we go out for frozen yogurt? I want us to be friends again, I miss talking to you, because you know more about me than anyone will know."

I felt myself smile so big it began to hurt my cheeks, but I still nodded toward him, a small giggle leaving my lips as I moved to fiddle with my bag.

"Yeah sure, when? Later today or?" My voice was so tiny compared to his confidence, and I had a hard time trying to hide the nerve I felt just from being two feet away from him.

"Mm, later today. At one? I'll still be here, so if you go home I can pick you up."

Smiling down at the ground now, I repeated my action of nodding my head and then looked up to show him I was thrilled we were talking again.

"I'll be going soon, just going to talk to someone before that."

Then my beautiful Yugyeom turned around to go up the stairs, probably to go back to his room or to talk to someone else. Waiting until he was gone, I walked over to Jaebum's room and set my bag down beside his door. Opening it slowly, I peered in and glanced around. He wasn't in, at least right now. Frowning softly, I wandered inside and closed the door behind me.

"Oppa?" I called, looking for any sign of him in his room, no one was there. So I helped myself and sat down on his bed, my eyes wandering around.The blinds were opened and I peeked through at the bright sky. There was hardly clouds today, so the sun could say hello through the tiny gaps within the fabric covering it. As I was sat there, I eventually laid down on my side. With myself facing the wall, I closed my eyes to rest for a moment. With the comforting smell of Jaebum entering my nose, I smiled, before burying my face into the neat sheets. I hoped I didn't mess it up too badly, but it was something that could calm me down now. I associated his smell with protection, so I knew I wouldn't have anything to worry about.

The door nudged open, and a damp haired Jaebum walked in, just sliding his shirt on. Making a small noise of surprise, I could hear the smile in his voice as he came over toward me.

"Couldn't stay away~?" The bed shifted as he sat down on the edge, his head to turned to look at me lazily laying on his bed. Shaking my head against it, I opened an eye and looked at him. His dark hair was wet and he moved his hand up to push it back, his tattooed fingers running through it as he scooted further onto his bed. "So what's up?" He murmured, moving so he was against the wall, his back pressing against it now.

"Came to say goodbye." Sitting up slowly, I batted my fringe from my face to get a better look at him. His body was leaning far back, his shoulders tense as he looked down at his fingers instead of at me. Frowning, I moved myself forward and laid back down, this time my head on his lap. "I'm gonna go back home, since I was only staying here while Eunmi was here." My voice was quiet, like it had been with Yugyeom, but only because I was worried of how he might react. It wasn't like I was never going to see him again.

"Don't say goodbye, dummy." His fingers tangled themselves into my dark disheveled locks, and I laughed briefly until the sound faded into something so silent I was sure it was nothing anymore.

"Fine, i'll say see you later." At my words this time, I could see the smile on his face as he nodded. Playing with the ends of my hair, he avoided eye contact for a bit and raised a brow at him.

"What's up?" I questioned slightly, nuzzling into his thigh as I looked up at his frame. Jaebum seemed a bit unsure of something, and would probably be fidgeting if it was not for me laying on his legs.

"Nothing, I was just hoping you came here to talk to me about something else, something important." Jaebum continued, shifting so he could look at me comfortably.

Before I had anything else to say in mind, I found myself staring at him far too intently. At his plump lips, parted and taking in air, his mocha orbs glancing into mine as he fiddled with my hair. Then we looked at one another for a moment, he leaned in forward, and I could feel his breath against my cheek.

"You can tell me anything." He carefully pressed his lips against mine, his eyes fluttering closed simply as we kissed, and then he pulled away. I felt electricity and then emptiness. Smiling for a moment against his lips, he then pulled away and I swallowed the dryness in my throat.

"I will take care of you."

I didn't know that meant kissing me.

-

a/n : im so lonely i had to make this happen.

needs more action.

asdfkjld im so boring jfc.

migraine fuck.

sad fuck.