the state of denial

Part 6:

I wake up maybe 3 hours later, because ,Cameron is watching the last episode of the second generation.

"Hey, have a nice nap?" He kisses my forehead.

My stomach fills with butterflies, and i feel my body temperature rise, I'm probably blushing.

"Yes."

"This episodes almost over, you want to go to bed? I can leave now if you want?"

"No, its fine.. I uuh.. Stay the night. Stay with me. Zack isn't coming home tonight anyway, and I dont want to be alone. Please." No, let him go Hayley.. Dont get attached. "Uh, yeah if you want." Let him go..

"Yeah. That'd be great." His smile widens. He turns off the tv and carries me downstairs, sits me down on the bed. I keep hold of Camerons neck and kiss him. "I have to shower," I tell him.

"Lets go out to eat?" Cameron asks.

"Uh, yeah, why not." He kisses me and I go into the shower.

As I take my pants off, I see all the cuts. How they've gotten worse since mom and dad left. At this moment in time I hate myself, for what I do to my body. How doing this doesnt even help. Yeah, I escape from the emotional pain for a while, but it always comes back, and these scars, they will never go away. Especial when there's a new scar, healing and the itch, the irritating ass itch that wont go away, begging me to rip off the scabs, to breath and let bleed just one more time.

The way my wrist was perfectly clean until the parties, the drugs, the drama. Never taking off my bracelets, claiming that they all have a special meaning. When really whats below them is a terrible part of me. The bracelts are just the cover story. The scar on my left arm that will never go away. "It was only an accident, broke my arm, you know, fell off my bike." Showing everyone my innocence.

When I leave the bathroom the towel is wrapped around my body.

The dirty clothes hiding the slit wrists. Camerons sitting on my futon using his phone. I look at him hoping he'll leave the room but he doesnt get the hint.

I take out my clothes and begin to change. I see him looking at me through the mirror.

"Hey ! No."

"Can you blame me?" He smirks.

"Yeah.. I can. Get out." He goes back upstairs and waits in the living room.

By the time I get out, hes already in the kitchen eating cheetos. "Ready?" He asks.

"Yeah, all done."

We get in his car and wherever we're going its sort of far. Theres traffic jam everywhere. "Almost there." About time.

"Alright."

"Its two more main streets down."

The light turns green, the car goes and I see headlights coming from Camerons side.

Another car hits Camerons, we go spinning, and finally, the car flips over. The windows are shattered. Blood drips out of my face. We're completely upside down. I turn to face Cameron. "Cam.. You.. Okay." No answer.

I try to take my seatbelt off. I get it to budge, and twist my body to be on the seats. "Cameron.. Cam.. Babe, answer me. This isn't funny. Please." His forehead is open. "HELP ! HELP ME ! Cameron wake the fuck up ! Don't, please, dont do this to me." I take his hand. I feel lightheaded, the sirens are getting closer. "There gunna get you, you'll be okay. I promise." My mind blacks out and i'm gone.

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(A/N) I'm sorry this one was waay shorter than all the others. I'll try to have more up soon. But was the whole accident good. ;o