the state of denial

Part 8:

All those machines, it just can't be Cameron.. His head is covered in one huge bandage.

I take his hand and hold it tight. "I'm so sorry baby.. Really really sorry." There's no reaction whatsoever. A doctor comes in and checks his chart.

"You must be Hayley. Causing a lot of trouble in here young lady."

I give him a grin, "I wasn't aware." asshole.

"Look, I don't know an easy way to say this but umh, Cameron is in a coma." My heart drops, everything suddenly stops.

Once again I see the headlights, the car uncontrollably spinning, and the blood coming off of our faces. I imagine Dani and Tori in the other car. What they had seen.

"Hayley?" The doctor looks me in the eyes, "Is everything alright?" Well, I don't know about you mr.doctor, but my not so boyfriend.. Whatever we are... Is in coma, my best friend may be paralyzed and my parents have no fucking clue what's going on. "Sorry what?" I tune back in. "Are you feeling fine?"

"Yes. How long do you think he'll be out?"

"Maybe a few days, maybe weeks, or even months"

It all feels unreal. This whole thing. I can't handle anything anymore. I want to be gone, out of here. Not see what goes on in the world. Because nothing is right. Nothing is fair. I place my hand where his forehead is. I wonder if he can feel me.

"Will he be okay?" I ask the doctor. "As long as he goes through treatment." He replies.

"He's in coma, how the hell will he go through treatment." Exclaims Zack. I leave the room and hear Zack and the doctor arguing as I walk out.

I probably shouldn't be out of the hospital but I don't care. What's left to do. They probably saw my cuts already, and they'll make me go see yet another therapist. Because of mental stability or some bullshit along those lines. I just can't take anything anymore.

I walk out of the hospital and begin to walk. My house is maybe 30 minutes away, but on crutches this may take longer. As I reach the first stoplight, there's a pounding in my head. A car beeps the horn at me. I hold up my middle finger. As I look up to see who the asshole is I realize its Chris. He tells me to get in the car. "No, I can't I have to leave." I tell him. The light turns green and he just looks at me. I feel like I should walk back to the hospital. There's a knot in my throat. I'm about to cry, but I can't let Chris see me weaker than I already am. "Hayley, c'mon. I'm gunna take you home." I start to walk away. Eeer crutch away. The huge black truck still follows. Why won't he leave. Just take no. It's my answer. My final answer. "I'm not getting in the car with you Chris ! Just go !" He stops the car completely and gets out. My eyes widen and I look directly at him. He gives me a smirk. "You don't understand, do you? I'm going crazy for you. Ignoring me is only making it worse. I want you even more when you don't give me what I want." He licks his lips and checks me out. Pig. Fucking asshole. Why would I ever want to be with him if he acts like this.

He puts his hands on my waist and pushes me against the car. I try to get him off, but his height is to much for me. He leans in to my ear, his curly hair tickles my cheek. "One of these days, I'll have you."

"Get off of me Chris. I'm not in the fucking mood for all your bullshit."

"Why do you have crutches?" He begins to put his lips on my neck. I fist his shirt. "Get off of me !"

"Answer the question." I let go of his shirt. I feel him pressing up harder against me. He kisses my neck. "I was in a car accident! Now let me go!" He backs away, and gives me a look as if he feels bad. "Who was in it?" He asks.