the state of denial

Part 19:

Tony's P.O.V

"Cameron settle down on the drinking. You're taking this way too far." I tell him taking away the bottle of whiskey.

"She takes me for granted man. She told me that... that I probably don't even like her. Which is fucking bullshit because I love her with all I fucking have!"

"I believe you dude, but she's going to be here in about an hour and if you're drunk, she won't want to stay."

"I rarely ever drink. I think it's my turn to have fun."

I throw the bottle at him, he barely catches it.

"If I didn't care why would I be staying for an extra semester in high school for her!? I mean, I could be in fucking Europe right now with Jake. But Jake is with Dani and even though he's got a job at the school he could be gone. But we fucking love those two. And Hayley just keeps trying to pick fights. It's like she's trying to push me away bro."

"That's the way Hayley is. She loves you too, but she's the kind of person that likes her space. She likes being in her room alone and not interact. Just because she hates everyone."

He laughs and agrees that Hayley does hate everyone. Like legit, if Hayley likes you, you're lucky.

With most people it's 'I like everyone until they give me a reason not to.' But with Hayley it's 'I hate everyone until they give me a reason not to.'

The only reason everyone's coming over to my house is because Renee and Jess are coming over. Since they moved out of Claremont high, we don't see them much. Maybe once every now and then. I know they went to see everyone in the hospital right when they got the news. And since Renee and Jess are coming so are Ryan and Gabe. So all together there would be me, Cameron, Zack, Ryan, Gabe, Renee, Jess, Hayley, Tori, Dani, Sam and Jake.

I'd say Chris, but he's still in custody for attempted murder. And Hayley would not come if Chris were here, then Zack and Cameron would probably kill him.

"Sometimes when I get into deep thought, I feel like the accident was all my fault yunno. Like maybe... If I hadn't gotten the balls to talk to Hayley the night of the party, Alex would still be alive, Tori would have full memory and Hayley wouldn't have gone into coma. You'd still have your best friend if it wasn't for me." Cameron says taking another shot.

"Look dude, it wasn't your fault. You've been told that Alex was drunk and he didn't know what was going on. Plus, I still have you, Zack and Jake."

"But Alex was your best mate. Like your brother." He takes yet another shot.

"Shit happens man. Alex shouldn't have been drinking that night. Especially not with the girls in the car."

"But... He hit my car. I didn't check my sides. I just drove and bam. I was out."

"It's not your fault Cam. It's just not."

I take the bottle from him and drink right out of it. Letting the alcohol burn me on the inside.

I hate talking about Alex's death. At the funeral, I actually cried. I couldn't keep it in. And when I saw Tori there, without a single tear I was infuriated. Not that I could have done anything about it. She didn't remember him, and somehow, it was for the best.

__________________________

Hayley.

I haven't seen Cameron in three days. He's been mad at me, because I asked if he actually did like me... Or if it was just built up guilt from the accident. Then he went off on me. He was all, "How could you even say that Hay!? I've liked you since you were a fucking freshman! I fucking LOVE you!" Then he stormed out of the house.