Toxic - A Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader Story

Chapter 33

Author's Note: Trigger warnings for self-harm.

Y/N's POV:

I gulp slightly looking at Wanda and I see Nat squint slightly to figure out what it is.

"Momma?"

I chew my lip tugging my jumper sleeves tightly over my hands tearing up slightly. I glance at Nat as she walks over to Wanda taking a look and she looks at me upset. She's disappointed and upset with me but I couldn't help it. I needed to feel something.

"Babe? Are you not gonna say anything?"

"I-I just-"

I pull my knees up to my chest resting my head on them sniffling. I thought I'd cleaned up enough that this wouldn't be found, I was careful. I glance at both Wanda and Nat not saying anything and I let my eyes follow Wanda as she walks over to me. I stay still as Wanda sits in front of me and I avoid her eye contact.

"Momma? Can I see? Let us help you, please"

I stay silent doing my best to ignore the sadness in her voice as I let the tears flow down my face. I slowly release my grip on my legs sniffling and I wipe my eyes.

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to be weak."

I glance at her and she smiles sadly at me and nods a little. I watch Nat come out of the bathroom with the first aid kit and I sniffle a little less.

"Wands? Do you mind just leaving me and your mom? I don't want you to see what I did, I don't want to upset you with what I did and I definitely don't want you to be disappointed with me."

She looks at me upset but then nods hugging me tightly and I wrap my arms around her tearing up whispering gently.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, you're allowed to have your bad days, just next time please come to me or mom. I love you."

I nod pulling away gently wiping her tears.

"I love you too sweetheart, I'll come to say goodnight later if you'd like?"

"Yes please, I'll see you in a little bit."

She nods and gives me a kiss on my head and I smile gently watching her walk out and I look at Nat who hasn't really said anything.

"Natasha, I'm sor-"

"Don't. It's alright, this wasn't your fault. I just wish I'd known that you were struggling, that you needed my help."

I glance at her and I shrug slightly still letting the tears fall freely. She kneels in front of me gently grabbing the hem of my jumper looking at me for permission and I nod embarrassed letting her pull it off and over my head. 

I look away when I hear her gasp slightly and I bite my lip hard to stifle a sob and she pulls me into her letting me sob freely into her chest as she gently rocks me.

"I'm sorry Nat, I'm so so sorry. I didn't want to do it but the feeling got too much. I couldn't think of another way out, I-I thought you hated me and would be better without me."

I feel her take a shaky breath stroking my hair. I didn't mean for this to happen, this is all my fault. 

"Shhh it's okay sweetheart, I'm here. I'm so sorry I led you to feel like this, this isn't what I wanted. Let me clean you up properly or they're gonna get infected."

I nod wiping my eyes letting her get the surgical alcohol and I watch her as she cleans up the cuts. I don't even flinch because I'm used to the pain by now and Nat looks at me concerned knowing exactly why I've not flinched. She smiles sadly at me and I sniffle as she throws the dirty cotton in the bin.