Mistakes And Regrets

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER TWELVE / Jealousy

◈ ━━━━━━━ ◆ ━━━━━━━ ◈

Uhm maybe it's the effect of drinking. Si Miguel ba talaga ang nasa harapan ko? Luh totoo ba 'to? I pinch his biceps to know if he's real.

Damn, he's really infront of me.

Ano ba gagawin ko? Wait-my eyes are in pain, how can he do this to me? How can he have another child to other girls?! My tears are slowly falling and I think I'm gonna cry again. Kaya ang ginawa ko, sinuntok ko ang dibdib ng Miguel, and I know he's frustrated right now by the looks of his eyes, hair and his position.

"Ang daya-daya mo! Minahal mo ba talaga ako Miguel! Ako-kasi, sobrang minahal kita!" Naiiyak kong sabi habang hinahampas ang kanyang dibdib. Ang sakit eh, tangina na 'to.

Hinayaan niya na lang ako, 'di siya makatingin sa akin. Mukhang di pa napapansin ng dalawa kong kaibigan na andito si Miguel, nasa madilim kaming parte ni Miguel. Walang nakakapansin sa aming dalawa. As in wala.

"Fvck, I love you baby!" Nanghihinang bulong niya sa akin.

Umiiyak ako. Puno na kasi ng emosyon ang aking sarili, as in punong-puno ito. Kung ano-ano na ang nasa isipan ko. Basa na ang buo kong mukha sa dami ng iyak at hagulgol ko dito. Maya-maya naramdaman ko na lamang ang isang malambot sa aking labi. His hand go to my waist and went higher, I mean-his touch have a sincerity.

I can't kiss him back!

"Kiss me back, Rafaela, tell me that you love me too."

Damn, oo na isa akong marupok! I accept his tongue, tila gumala ang dila niya sa akin. Maya-maya bigla akong natauhan. Agad akong napatigil, is Miguel really here? Because of what happened, I slap his face so hard. Wait-why I am slapped his face?!

"Asshole, mag se-sex na lang kayo ng kabit mo 'hindi ka pa gumamit ng protection, stupid!"

His face went blank after that. Maybe hindi niya pa alam na alam kong buntis 'yung hindot niya na sekretarya. I try not to cry in front to him, nakita ko sina Bella at Tyrone, nakita nila ako. Mukhang nagaalala sila dahil andito si Miguel sa bar.

"Bakit a-ako pa Miguel? Bakit umabot dito ang panggagago mo sa'kin?" Naiiyak kong sambit sa kanya. Fuck. Ang sakit-sakit na eh!

"Rafaela..." I heard his voice.

"Tangina naman Miguel eh! 'Wag mo naman ako gaguhin ng ganito! My feelings din naman kasi ako."

I hold back my tears coming on my cheeks.

"Rafaela..."

"Alam mo 'yun, asawa ko. Sa dinami-daming lalaki sa mundo sa isang gago pa ako nahulog. Hindi mo ba alam na isa kang gago. Gagi, alam ko naman na hindi mo ko minahal. I know you fell out of love to me baby. I know nagsasawa ka na sa akin. Pero bakit kailangan mo pa makabuntis ng ibang babae? Bakit Miguel, bakit ako pa ang sinasaktan mo ng paulit-ulit?!"

"That baby is not mine."

"HAHAHAHAAHAHHA." I finally laugh at him so hard.

"Oh, pagkatapos mo magpakasarap, 'di mo pananagutan, anong klaseng lalaki ka, Miguel?"

"Damn, Rafaela. That slut secretary started it, she seduce me, I know honey but it wasn't a love, it's just lust."

It's kinda unfair, we just did sex once, on our honeymoon. And that's it, hindi na namin ulit ginawa. He's not asking or pleading me to do it and me too. Ewan ko bakit hindi na namin muli ito ginawa. Maybe we are busy at work? Awkward? I don't know!

And that's it...

I walk out in front of him.

***

"Hey are you okay ba Rafaela?" My mom ask me for the ninth' time.