DONE (Unedited)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Brett's POV

I didn't want to do it

I never wanted to

And one thing that I am sure of is that if I do it, I'll end up regretting it for the rest of my life.

But I guess I have no choice.

I'm not only clearing my conscience but also paying the price for the selfish descions I made.

In the absolute worst way ever.

At this particular moment I knew I had my one last shot. If I blew it away then this will be the end of me.

I was tired.

Of waking up every day and feel like crap.

Maybe if I sacrifice my happiness for her forgiveness I'll be whole again.

Maybe I'll learn to love again.

Maybe I'll heal and get laugh once again.

Maybe I'll manage to stretch a smile and feel like I deserved it

I craved my old self back.

I would and will do anything to have me back.

To this I swear with my life.

Jewel's POV

Uncompromisingly beautiful white cottage sorrounded by a captivating Serene environment.

Beside it flows a small stream that made the place even more beautiful. It was indeed satisfying.

My eyes glowed at the sight of it I had chills all over on my body. Not even the Devil himself can pretend not to be amazed by the beauty of this place.

It was like dream.

It was perfect.

"Jewel, I admit I was wrong and I don't deserve you."

Oh no! Not now. Can't a brother wait until I give my eyes the satisfactory of admiring this

I failed terribly when I had the chance but I'm asking for this one last chance, to prove to you how sorry I am. Let's build a home here. You want kids right? Let's have ten of them."

I chuckled at that .

"I need time to digest all that." I said plainly.

All this didn't make any sense to me. Every word he said was a lie and it pissed me off that he thought I would believe any of it.

_'you want kids right? Let's have ten of them.'_ That statement or rather question wasn't genuine. He is saying all that to make his sorry ass feel better.

Less guilty.

Even if I was to forgive him. His words wouldn't have convinced me enough.

To me, it wasn't good enough.

As a matter of fact, it made me more bitter.

His words had no effect whatsoever on me anymore.

Of course I would love to have kids. Who wouldn't?, Ten of them like he said. I'd be so damn happy watching them playing hide and sick as I stood by the balcony of the house he bought.

How satisfying would that feel?

How beautiful would that be?

Yes I would love all that.

But sadly, I can only dream it.

The only one chance he had he blew it away. And he is so not getting another one.

"Oh you didn't get the memo?, Sorry I can't have kids. Thanks to you."

His eyes grew big. Clearly he was shocked by what I said. I guess he didn't see that coming.

"You are joking right?" He asked after a long pause

"Why on earth would I joke about something like that. But don't worry I'll be fine."

Things were now getting weird and I just couldn't withstand it. It was getting cold and dark and I just wanted to get the hell out of that place.

"My Dad's trust fund was under my name and I decided to buy this house. For us. For you Jewel. You've always been telling me how much you like nature and so when I saw this cottage I knew this was it. It might not feel complete because we won't have kids but as long as I'm with you I'll be okay."

"My life has no meaning Brett. Such things has no meaning anymore. They don't entice me if I'm being honest with you. All this that you are doing is pointless."

"I'm really trying here Jewel. Can't you see huh?. We all make mistakes and we deserve a second chance. I am literally begging you "

Tears were now falling on his cheeks. He sounds so sincere and so sorry. Anyone could fall for his act and wrapp him in their arms and say ' I forgive you'.

How I wish it was that easy to forgive the man who fucked up your whole life and made everything a living nightmare.

"I Know this isn't the perfect way to ask you this nor the right time but then I don't want to wait any longer. If it's not now then it's never. Jewel my love, will you forgive me for being a jerk and allow me to make it up to you for the rest of your life?"

I absolutely did not see this coming.

I'm just nineteen years old for fuck's sake.

If I'm being honest this is every woman's dream and so was mine.

A part of me wanted to say yes and put my past away in a box never to be opened again and live a happily ever after with my Prince Charming.

But unfortunately that part of me died the day my baby died. It died the day I realized that the person I could go miles for couldn't even make a single step to where I was.

It is at that moment that I realized I didn't have any feelings for him. I realized that I would never be happy again. I will never get to live a normal life.

I was fucked up and it's all his fucking fault.

I immediately turned and started running as I break down uncontrollably. I could only hear the rythm of my feet as I crash the dry leaves leaving them into tiny pieces just like my soul.

"Jewel Jewel!" The Bastard called.

Brett did all he could to fuck up my life and now he thinks offering me an old ring and a white cottage will make up for his sins. I am not a fucking god to forgive and forget.

I was willing, now more that ever because,

Things I used to fancy
Things I used to dream of
No longer entice me
My mind is empty
My soul is cold
I am wounded
Beyond healing.

And so , if I may ask,

How the fuck will a white cottage make up for that?

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