I couldn't hold my breath as his hands slide down to my butt and then up inside my baggy shirts.
I had kept it all that while just for him. I knew I wanted him to be my first. It's something I had made up my mind about long time ago and was so sure I would never regret.
He bent and kissed me gently, exactly as it is in the movies. You would think it was rehearsed. He then led his soft lips slowly down my neck. That was now my favourite move. It made me feel some type of way.
Didn't want him to stop. Absolutely not.
"Are you sure about this?" He asked looking me straight in the eyes.
"Ugh..so you want to make this awkward?".I told him still closing my eyes.
Moments are most felt when eyes are closed. Through that you forget completely about everything else.
He chuckled softly and kissed my lips again as he took of his shirt and pulled my pants down. With that happening, I knew I would never be the same again.
I could feel his heartbeat from the way we were so close. I do not know what being in heaven feels like but lying next to him was so heaven like. I wanted to feel that way forever. Only question is,does forever exist?
***********
" Hey! Watch out." My mum screamed at me.
I had spilled coffee on the table and some got spilled onto her skirt while I was filling her cup. If only she knew where my mind was,she would never look at me the same again.
"Shit! I'm sorry." I said wiping it out with a table cloth.
"Watch your language young lady." She warned me with a stern voice.
"What is that troubling you? Clearly,there is something that is troubling you and am worried, Jewel. Are you alright?" Mum asked as she stood up and headed to her room to change her beautiful baby pink skirt that had already turned black due to the coffee I'd spilled earlier.
" Mum I'll wash it for you, I promise." I said, feeling all guilty.
She walked away ignoring my offer . She has always complained about me not knowing how to do laundry. Which is nothing but embarrassing.
I still don't know why I can't get him off my mind, no matter how hard I try to forget. The things we did together and the things he did to me kept crossing my mind over and over again. At times I would flush and I would pray so hard that my mom does not notice it.
I decided to start doing things differently now. Different from the way I did them when I was still with him. I made myself hate coffee and even dressed differently that morning.
I don't know if that will work but I hope it does. I really wanted to get things done with him.
My mom finished dressing up while I waited in the car.
I can't remember the last time my Mom dropped me to school. It has always been him.
When he first got his car, he used to pick me up with his girlfriend and it wasn't any fun. I remember how I used to take the back seat as they sat on the front.
My best mornings started when things blew up and the girlfriend was no more. I now started sitting beside him in the front passenger seat and getting an everyday kiss apart from Sundays. I hated Sundays ever since.
"You need to go for a week's therapy." My mom broke the silence ."I know both you and I can clearly tell you are not okay."
I hated therapies. I remember in highschool I was forced to go for one after Dad left us for another woman and I couldn't bear seeing mom cry all day and night.
"I'll be fine, mom." I said, giving her one plastic smile. I mean,it was the least I could do given the state my mind was in.
She turned her face away from mine and I couldn't help but feel that she knew I was lying to her.
"I'm not buying that,your therapy sessions start next week. I'll arrange with Aunt Barbara." She finalised everything and there was nothing I could do to make her digress.
No one talked to the other all the way as she drove. I decided to break the ice when we drove into Garden Heights college. Without realizing it, she was just about to park the car right where Brett used to park his. I had to convince her to find a different spot. I know how bad and childish it looks but I just couldn't let her. I just didn't want to do or be involved in things that reminded me of him.
She looked at me suspiciously but still chose not to say anything. With our emotions running high,things might have just escalated.
"Do you now see the reason why you need to go for therapy?" She asked pimping her eyes and shaking her head.
"Have a nice day, Mom..." I said, opening the car door." And please, say hi to Barbara. " I added changing the story as usual.
Barbara is my aunt who works the same hospital as my mom. We got so many things in common that some people mistake her for my sister.
***********
There she is.
" Tasha!" I called her as I walked to where she was smiling.
I had apologized to her the same night we fought after I realised I was just overreacting and that she had done nothing wrong. I was so stupid.
"Damn, girl!....I could hardly recognise you. You look stunning." She said giving a letter J look at my new Jordan snickers.
Letter J look is our short form of the word Jealously. Funny right?
I won't tell you that I was dressed to kill but I made heads turn. Including Brett's.
My insecurities had never let me wear a dress before . I've always dressed for approval but now that I care less,I think I might also try some skirts. Lol.
The multiple compliments I got that day really pumped up my esteem levels. Made me feel like I would contest for Miss World. It was way too much.
We headed to class and settled as we waited for the first lecture.
"My goodness Jewel,Brett can't take his eyes off of you." Tasha whispered to me loudly.
Brett is the guy I couldn't stop thinking about. The boy whose actions explain the meaning of "toxic" best.
He doesn't know how to treat me right but still we both won't let you go.
"Oh,is he?" I asked Tasha my heart beating so first.
I looked back and...
He is still looking. Not even blinking. His eyes saying how sorry he is. Oh no! This is not it. It feels as if I'm seeing him for the first time.
My heart keeps pounding. I think it is falling in love all over again.
...Fuck love
He smiled at me and that made me freeze , I didn't know whether to smile back or not. Some few minutes passed still quiet and then a message notification appeared on my phone. It's his.
Brett💜
Hey beautiful...I regret every single thing I did and trust me you do not know how it feels sitting right behind you and not be able to talk to you. Can I please see you after this class and talk things over?. Love,Brett.
I read the message for the second time hopping I would get the strength to reply it back. Tasha took my phone, read the message and replied No. And thanks to her.
I looked back again to assure him that it's done. But seeing all that cuteness made me change my mind.
I knew I wouldn't stand seeing him moving on with somebody else that wasn't me.
I grabbed my phone from Tasha and replied yes. I'm taking back my words, It's fuck done and not love.
"Poor you,you are obsessed. Your Mom better hurry with those therapy sessions because I'm afraid you'll go bananas." Tasha said that looking so pissed off and changing her sitting position.
Like I care...I rolled my eyes shamelessly at her.
And just like that,Brett will maybe get another chance to be with Jewel.
Poor Jewel. Poor obsessed girl.
YOU ARE READING
DONE (Unedited)
Short Story"I'd rather fight with him for the rest of my life than replace him." I told my best friend Tasha sobbing bitterly. Every time I say I am done I find myself going back to him. He's so brutal but every time I'm in his arms I feel so safe. I'm still...
