And I'm know for giving love away but
I want , someone who loves me,
I need, someone who needs me
Cos it don't feel right when it's late at night and it's just me and my dreams
So I want , someone to love.
Yeah that's what I fucking want
For six hours that song has been on loop and I can still listen to it for another six without getting bored.
Lil Nas is and will always be the shit. Always understanding the assignment better than anyone and feeding our hearts with exactly what it needs.
Oh! The things love makes us do.
I am parked on a dark corner not more than two blocks away from Tasha's and violet's apartment Incase I see them walking out going to her party and then as planned, I'll follow.
I refuse to admit that this is being a sociapath and being creepy because I am fighting for the one I love . My stomach is really not cooperating right now and it got me wishing how I could have just taken that breakfast offered to me prepared with so much love.
It has waited for all those hours I bet it could for another two. At least.
Stomach growls
"Damn it!" I groan.
I am for sure killing myself . I decided that I'll just be quick and go get me some burger before I die of starvation which by the way would be the coolest way to die.
It would be written in the magazines, 'She died of hunger trying to satisfy the matters of the heart'.
Lol.
*************
Tasha's POV
"I can't believe it. She really got the nerves showing up at my doorstep."
" Baby let it go. You really are going to let her ruin your mood. C'mon it's not worth it."
" Incredibly unbelievable!."
If I am being honest right now. I feel like Jewel deserve every little thing that is happening in her life.
One, because she is so goddamn selfish and second is because she is always trying to ruin good moments.
She is infact the most sophisticated human being I have ever met and I can't believe that I fell in love with her.
How unfortunate that we can't tell our hearts who to love and who not to.
Again if I am being really honest, I think I see where Brett is coming from. Not that I am picking sides or admitting that it was cool for him to dumb her right after she got her pregnant.
No that's not it.
I still hate Brett with passion and never a day in my life passes without me wishing him dead.
Okay, I don't really mean like dead, dead.
I just don't want him in my world. Or Jewel's.
I am really trying to make things work for me and new favorite person Violet but every time the world Jewel crosses my mind I go back to where I was.
And I know that, that Is wrong because it's like I am using Violet as a distraction and that is the least to what what she deserves.
She is an angel and for the first time in my life, someone that I actually like likes me back.
And for closure. I'm never letting anyone get in the way of that.
Not even Jewel.
I might love her more than I love Violet but it's time to let her go.
She ain't lighting that spark in me the way Violet does and that to me is enough reason.
************
I guess there is no birthday party. It's already half past eight and still nothing.
I took the flowers which were not as fresh and good-looking as they were in the morning and alighted the car.
Again I knew this wasn't a good idea but as always I decided to go ahead and do it anyway.
As I pressed on the second floor button on the elevator my heart pumped a little bit faster than usual.
It's like it knew what was going to happen and it was begging me no to go.
But again I wondered. If I knew it today , tomorrow or next week. What difference will it make. In all occasions my heart is going to break and it will feel the same.
I was ready.
The elevator opened and their door was there staring at me. I knocked but there was no response.
It wasn't locked and so I slowly slide it.
The room was dimmed different from when I was there not a while ago.
On the table lied two wine glasses, an empty bottle of champagne, two candles which were still lit and dirty plates and forks which had cake cream.
She celebrated her birthday with just her. In the house they are about to call a home.
It could have been me you know but I screwed it all up. Also, I've been waiting for her all day thinking that I can convince her to get back with me but it's clear now that I was just fooling myself.
On the floor lied a bouquet of red and white roses which still looked fresh as those that grew along a stream. I couldn't leave mine there or gave them to her because they couldn't be compared.
It would be a shame.
I can't do better than Violet if I can't even pick the right flowers.
I slowly walked to room on my left and there they were. I could tell by the way they laughed that they were drunk.
And happy. Really enjoying each other's company.
Everything I was afraid of was happening and I was there watching it like a cinema.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
It hurt like never before. I think this time it's because I didn't have to blame anyone but me.
I walked back to the living room and blew out the candle and then like I came, I slowly walked out.
That night as I was driving back home I realized just how much I have lost and how lucky Violet is.
My last shot of being happy just slip off my hand and there is no getting it back.
Because when the war is over. There is no fighting no more.
And unfortunately, I lost it.
YOU ARE READING
DONE (Unedited)
Short Story"I'd rather fight with him for the rest of my life than replace him." I told my best friend Tasha sobbing bitterly. Every time I say I am done I find myself going back to him. He's so brutal but every time I'm in his arms I feel so safe. I'm still...
