DONE (Unedited)

CHAPTER TWENTY

"My oh my!, What a nice apartment you've got here."

"It's cute,isn't it?"

"Indeed "

"Whoa! this coach is to die for." I said as I sink my petite self comfortably.

"I know, but we are thinking of replacing it. A grey one would really fit in perfectly don't you think?"

" Mmh.... that's cool. Although I don't see a problem with this one. Green is rare indoors and unique don't you think?" I argued not really sure if she asked for my opinion or rather if it really mattered.

She laughed hysterically.

"Who the fuck still think green is interesting. Jesus Christ Jewel! Your taste is boring."

"Are you trying to mock nature? Green is everything, literally , you'll never miss it anywhere you go "

"Exactly. I see it everywhere I go and that's boring to me. When I am in my house I prefer to leave the outside world out for a while and explore new things like different colors and are not so obvious."

"Excuse me did you say your house?" 

"Yeah. I mean technically it belongs to Violet but also it is mine because we are now official. I'm moving in with her in two weeks." She said excitedly.

Ooops!

I didn't see that coming.

I am not hurting as I expected not because I am not bothered but what she just said or because I support her and as long as she is happy then that's totally fine.

All that is not true. 'As as long as you are happy even if it's not with me ' is something that I will never say.

And that is particularly when it comes to her.

The only reason I am still chilled is because it hasn't hit me yet.

It's funny how I think she is just saying it just to see my reaction. She loves me just as much as I love her and I know she is just punishing me for what I did.

And I will let her because I deserve it.

""Oh really. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you don't matter to me anymore."

"Ouch!"

"I'm sorry but that's the naked truth."

"Oh yeah?, Really Tash?"

"Yes really. Oh let me guess. You thought that I will wait for you forever? Oh please get over yourself."

"Okay okay." I chuckled nervously. " "Are you really considering moving in with Violet. Geez! You can do better than that "

"Don't make me laugh. So You think you are better?. If anything you are not even worth to be compared to Violet. I don't even know why I am having this conversation with you. Is that why you are here?"

"The reason I came is because I miss you and I need you. It's because I love you Tash."

I was now getting emotional and my tears couldn't be held back any longer so I just freed them and there I was.

Crying like a fucking baby.

"Oh that's so sweet of you. I love you too." She said sarcastically as she laughed her ass off.

Why the hell is she acting like this. So weird and cold.

"You know what! I think you should fucking leave. Right now." She was now burning up.

Oh no. I thought all this was just an act and she didn't mean anything she said but I guess I was wrong.

Don't tell me she is acting up like this when literally what I did was just but faking love so  as to lure that son of a bitch.

I know she didn't know all that because I have never involved her in any of my plans but c'mon Tash. You can do better than that.

"Please don't do this. I came here because I wanted to say sorry. For everything. "

"Just that?. Okay I forgive you. Now please leave."

"No. That's not the only thing I wanted to say. I love you and I'm ready. I'm ready to make things work Tash. I'm ready to commit."

Jesus Christ!, I can't believe I am literally begging her.

Why is it always that I have to beg for love Everytime my heart falls for someone. Why can't it just happen naturally like the way it does for other people.

I want to believe that, that is not the case here because it was real for the first time before I screwed things up.

Before I pushed her away.

If anything happens , it is all going to be on me.

Because it's clear now that ruining good things is all I do best. It's like it's my fucking full time job.

"You see that's not how things work Jewel. This on and off love thing isn't my definition of love. I deserve to enjoy love at it's full with someone who will love me just as much as I love them_

"So you don't think I love you

""Just shut the fuck up already." She cuts me short after I rudely interrupted her. She pauses then continues. " "I was literally willing to give up everything just for you and instead you saw me as a bother. Now that I decided to move on because I couldn't wait for you forever you just show up and think I'll take you back?, Hilarious. I'm happy and I don't want you getting in the way . So I'll ask you once again nicely. Just leave."

Her voice was heavy and her eyes were pale. So empty yet so full of anger. They were screaming 'I hate you so much Jewel.'

Now the only person who was giving my life a meaning didn't want anything to do with me.

Things just keep getting worse everyday and my life was falling out of hand uncontrollably.

I had no words to say to her to convince her or make her believe me that I was deeply sorry.

I knew if I walk out of that door I'll be nothing but also that was the only thing left for me to do. I hate it that she find peace in having someone else that isn't me.

The door creeped open and Violet entered as a beautiful dog followed her behind cheerfully. She looked so happy and alive. She set her eyes on Tasha and then at me. Her mood completely changed and her face turned red real quickly.

She really must hate so much.

"Babe what's going on here?" She asked still her eyes fixed on mine.

"Jewel was just leaving. Right?" She slowly walked to the door and open it for me.

I guess this is the part where I leave.

"Right." I said and slowly started walking as the gazed as if they are seeing me for the first time. It was not only awkward but also it made me feel like an intruder.

Again. Fuck my life because honestly, what the hell is this.

"Don't let her ruin it for you babe. Especially not on your big day "  Violet said after Tasha banged the door at me.

That was rude by the way.

The distance to where my car was was like twenty metres away but it felt like miles. I kept thinking of the incidents that just happened not long ago.

It also hit me that today's was Tasha's birthday. That's what Violet meant when she said 'big day.'

It is obvious that they are going to throw a party. One that I will not get an invitation.

So I'll do it the old fashion way.

Because there is no way in hell that I'm giving up that girl.

And also, it is mandatory that I wish her a happy birthday.

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