DONE (Unedited)

CHAPTER SIX

My head was burning up as every inch of my body dripped sweat . I rushed to my toilet sink and puked out whatever the hell was in my stomach.

I am always careful in what I eat and so I was positive that, that wasn't about what I ate or drunk.

I was worried sick.

This was the third fucking day that I was waking up to this ratchet feeling.

I looked myself into the mirror and didn't want to think of what I thought it was for a another minute. I am only nineteen for fuck's sake and my Mum is going to kill me. Literally.

"Nooooo!" I screamed out loud after I couldn't hold it back. "This can't be." I said tears falling down my cheeks and falling down to my knees.

At this right moment I was feeling helpess.

I knew there was a fifty fifty chance that what I thought of could be true but then I decided to stay positive for this one time in my life.

How could I be so unlucky.

Every time when things seems to be getting better is when they are actually falling so wide apart.

Happiness isn't just for everyone. And sadly I have to be part of it. Why is it always me that have to get the worse this cruel world has to offer every single time.

Fast footsteps were heard from a distance. No doubt that it could be my Mum. I quickly flashed the toilet and rushed to my bed pretending to be fast asleep. Like I never woke up.

"Jewel!Jewel!,honey is everything alright.?" She asked as she opened the door. Though I couldn't see her face I noticed the panic in her voice as she called out my name.

I was also frightened, worried and felt helpless. If only she knew what I was going through. My eyes could be closed but my mind was active like it has never been before. Full of wild thoughts.

"Are you okay?" She whispered to my ears

Was I really okay?, I wondered ..I didn't answer nor move any part of my body. I wanted her to get things straight in her head that I was asleep and I was just having a nightmare.

How I wished that was true. That it was just a dream and all is going to be fine when I open my eyes eventually. I wanted to wake and hug my mum so tight and cry on her shoulder like I have always been doing other times when I felt that I wasn't myself anymore.

But I was afraid, that she'll get disappointed the minute I'll alter a word and construct a sentence of my problem. My Mum is the last person I have ever wanted to disappoint.

I hated that I was her only child. I was a failure to myself and her. It is at this time of my life when I felt that I shouldn't be here. That I didn't deserve her. She really has been through a lot especially after Dad left us. She has been strong all along.

For me.

And now this?, I have to get to the bottom of this before she does.

I felt her soft warm hands in my hair as they slide through my shoulders patting me.

"Mum!what are you doing here?,you scared me." I said to her rubbing my eyes pretending to get rid of sleep out of my eyes.