Poems

I Will Love You

When I come home from work
And find you at my door with tears in your eyes
I will drop my bag and hold you in my arms
I will pick you up and carry you to my bed
I will let you cry into my shirt
And I will listen to what's wrong
I won't try and fix your problems
For I know how strong you are
Anything that comes your way
Is a mere stone that you can step over
I will tell you this as I wipe your tears
Most importantly, I will love you
When you dye your hair for the nineteenth time
Or decide you have a new favourite band
I will smile and tell you how wonderful you are
I will remember that people are allowed to change
And that you are nothing ordinary
You are the spark that starts the fire
You are the first drop in a rainstorm
You are a phoenix, a volcano
You will burn yourself down and build yourself up
More times than I can count
And that's okay
Because sometimes our bones need a new home
Most importantly, I will love you
When you leave me for days at a time
Or decide you need to be alone
I will tell you how much you mean to me
Then return to life without you
Until you come back.
I will always be here waiting for you
I understand your emotions will sometimes get the best of you
And I will not try to be the refresh button in your life
You are a complicated system
Sometimes you would rather cry by yourself
Or spend your nights dreaming alone.
No matter how many times you disappear
I will look for you as much as you need
Most importantly, I will love you.
When my friends ask me about the girl with red hair
I will correct them that it's black now,
She's the kind of girl that needs a change.
I will tell them I bought her roses once
And she hung them upside so she could keep them forever.
I will tell them that she's constantly struggling over what to order off a menu
That she lights her cigarettes before she opens the window.
And even though I don't talk about her much,
I write about her constantly
I will tell them that it's complicated
We both have our lives and our problems
But god, she makes me smile
Most importantly, I will tell them that I love you
On those days where I look into your eyes
And see a girl that I don't know
I will not ask what's wrong
I will simply do my best to be your best.
I will break my ribs so I am no longer in a cage
I will reach out as much as I can
So you do not feel alone.
Maybe you will break yours, too.
It's possible that you're thinking of him,
But I will attempt to keep that off my mind.
He is gone but I am here,
I'll try to make you remember that.
Most importantly, I will love you.
I will crash into you at the speed of light with all the force I have
So that you break into a million pieces
And I can show you that you're made of the same elements that make up our solar system
That three quarters of you is the exact same water that has the power to beat stones into sand
I will show you that what's inside of you
Makes up every diamond in the world and each star in the sky
That every time I inhale,
I'm essentially breathing in you.
I will grab fistfuls of what you are
And tell you that every great part of this earth is made of you
I will tell you don't be scared or ashamed or sad
Because you are beautiful and powerful and necessary
Most importantly, I will love you
In two, five, ten years
When the month of December hits me so hard it knocks the wind out of me
I will sit in the dark with a bottle of vodka
And kiss it like I once kissed you
I will think of the girl with four a's in her name
Close my eyes and remember black crosses.
I will replay the setlist of the first concert we went to
I will remember the smell of cigarettes and how they tasted on you.
My heart will ache and my lungs will burn
I will miss every inch of you
And want nothing more than you in my bed
Most importantly, I will love you.

-Brooke Jackman