Over The Rainbows, Sydney (España Series #1)

Chapter 48

"Hindi ka tutuloy? Sam, hindi matutuwa si Sydney sa desisyon mo!" Singhal sa akin ni Cyreen.

I already told her about my plan. I don't want to leave if she is not in a good state yet. I can delay my dreams as long as I'm walking my journey with her.

"What do you want me to do, Cy? Leave her alone? She didn't leave me when I needed someone to lean on, Cyreen. It's unfair!" I reasoned out to my bestfriend who's now furious.

She shook her head.

"You don't know how it would make her feel, Sam. Alam ni Sydney kung gaano ka-importante sa'yo ang page-Espanya. Hindi lang 'to tungkol sa pagkuha ng degree, Samantha. Pangarap mo 'to!" Kunot-noo niyang sabi sa akin.

"I can still take master's here, Cy. Hindi naman importante sa akin kung saang lupalop ko matupad ang pangarap ko. What matters to me now is that I make sure she's okay." I massaged my temple.

"It was hard for me to go through dad's death and she had her battles but she chose to stay with me. I just want to be here for her, too." Puno ng sinseridad kong sabi kay Cy.

She only looked at me with worried eyes. Sa huli ay hindi na rin ito nakipagtalo. Alam na rin siguro niya na hindi niya na mababago ang desisyon ko.

I understand Cyreen's sentiment. Eversince then, the ultimate plan was to finish architecture, apply for a master's degree program in the architecture capital of the world, travel the world and be a great architect.

Well, they say, if you want to dream, better dream big. So I dreamt high, deep, and huge. But then, maybe, dreams are just meant to be dreams sometimes. Life will always redirect you to the path you have to take. And these paths are not always the roads that we've dreamt about.

After two weeks, inuwi ni Sydney ang daddy niya sa Manila to have him checked by the best doctors. Magagaling man ang mga doktor sa Cebu, iba pa rin ang facilities sa Maynila. And of course, she wanted the best for her father.

The news that I'm postponing my plans for Spain reached Sydney three weeks before my supposed flight. And just as Cyreen told me, she was not delighted by the news.

"Sam, naman! Hindi ba nag-usap na tayo? Nangako ka na, hindi ba? Sabi mo tutuloy ka!" Namamaos niyang angil sa akin.

"Sydney, I can't leave you like this! You need me here!" Paliwanag ko sa kanya.

Hindi ko sinasadyang magtaas ng boses but we are currently at the height of our emotions, trying to pull each other's understanding.

"Of course, I need you! But I also couldn't afford to see you here knowing that you left your dreams for me!" She explained with furrowed brows over her exhausted gaze.

"What do you want me to do then? Leave you in this state? Gusto mong umalis ako kahit alam kong mas kailangan mo ako ngayon?" I asked her with a creased forehead.

She scoffed as if she was tired of making me understand.

"I want you to be the person you aspire to become, Sam. Not the person you chose to be dahil nadadamay ka sa mga problema ng ibang tao." She said calmly but with conviction.

I didn't speak. I can sense how frustrated she was to get me to understand her point. I definitely get her point. I just want to be here for her. I want to be here when everything is a mess and I want to be here for her too when everything is finally alright. Gusto ko siyang damayan. Sa hirap at ginhawa. Sa kahinaan at kalakasan. Sa yaman at paghihirap. Ayoko siyang iwan mag-isa.

She left the condo with our conversation left unfinished. I understand that we can't always fix anything before the day ends so I took my time to calm myself down and reflect about my decisions.