Hate to Love You [Ryden]

Strike Up The Band

Ryan's Point of View* 

Here I lay, next to Brendon in the bed we fell asleep in last night, the words he said to me before he fell asleep playing on repeat in my mind.

He loves me?

Did he say it just to say it?

Because it was an in the moment  kind of thing?

Or does he really mean it?

Or was I just hearing things?

Do I love him?

I think I do.

Maybe I shouldn't bring it up, just in case he doesn't remember saying it. I don't wanna make things awkward.

Brendon rolled over to face me, his eyes are still closed so he's still sleeping. I think. I stared at him. His soft gentle expression when he sleeps, I love it. He's truly amazing and beautiful and I'm so happy to finally get to do this. A couple weeks ago, I never would have guessed that I'd be this involved with Brendon Urie. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing. Having sex. Sure, it's a little too soon to be having sex I guess, but I really don't care.

I love it all.

Speaking of sex, I'm sore.

I guess he really did a number on me last night. I smile at the thought and look back at Brendon.

His eyes are open and he's staring at me.

"Why so happy?" He asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"Just thinking." I smiled.

"'Bout?" 

"Last night." His smile faded. Maybe he does remember what he said and he regrets it. He wouldn't love me, I'm just Ryan. The boy who has no friends. Who could love me? I am out of my mind. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"What about last night are you thinking about?" He shifted himself, pulling the blanket up to his face. I wasn't gonna bring up what he said, because I feel like that's what he's thinking about.

"When we were laying outside." I smiled. His smile reappeared and he wrapped an arm around me. 

"Yeah, that was pretty amazing, huh?" 

"Yeah. But I'm a little sore now. You were really rough at the end." He stuck his bottom lip out and leaned closer to my face.

"I'm sowwy." He pecked the corner of my mouth and laid back down.

"It's okay, it was worth it." I smiled. "So what did you have planned for today?"

"Eh, I dunno. Let's go eat breakfast first, then we'll think of something." I nodded and we got out of bed and went to the kitchen. "Whatchya want?" Brendon asked.

"Cereal will be fine." he nodded once and turned toward the cupboard. "Because I know you make the best cereal." I laughed.

Brendon turned his head to me and smirked. 

"You'll see." Brendon poured the cereal in the bowls on the counter, followed by milk. "Here ya go."

He set the bowl in front of me, filled almost to the top with coco puffs.

We both started eating in silence. I really wanted to bring up last night, before he fell asleep, but I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or make anything awkward.

"So how is it?" Brendon asked.

"It's good," I smiled. "You were right, you make the best cereal."