Hate to Love You [Ryden]

Mama

Sorry for not updating the day I said I would. I've had a migraine for the last three days. Anyway, here ya go.

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Ryan's Point of View* 

I paid for my dad's funeral. It was just a one day service and tonight we're driving to the cemetery, before it gets too dark. Surprisingly, there was a lot of people. Mostly his friends that would come over and get shit faced for a week or two. And my mom was here. I knew it was her because she looked the same as she did in the picture I had of us when I was a kid. 

"My mom's here." I whispered to Brendon. We were sitting on the couch that was in the front by the casket. I was looking around the room when I spotted her.

She was standing in the doorway. Black dress and black hat with an almost transparent black lace veil covering her face. Her hair was the same color as mine, from what I could see of it. And she's thin and short. 

"What?" Brendon said sitting up and turning around. "Where? How do you know?" I grabbed his arm and pulled him to his original postion.

"She's standing in the doorway. The one with the black veil." Brendon slowly turned around to look, then turned back to face the front of the room again.

"How do you know that's her?" He asked putting a hand on my knee. 

"I have a picture of me and her when I was a kid. She looks the same." 

"You should talk to her." I pulled my eyebrows together and looked at him.

"No." I simply said. "She didn't bother talking to me after she left, I'm not gonna bother talking to her. She clearly didn't want anything to do with me to begin with." 

"But Ry, she's your mom. Maybe she can tell you what really happened. Your dad only said she left because of you right? Maybe he just said that because he was trying to hurt your feelings." I shrugged. It'd be nice to have my mom in my life. 

"I'll think about it." Brendon sighed and put his arm around my shoulders and gently rubbed my arm. I leaned my head against his shoulder, sighing, and closing my eyes. "I love you Bren." I whispered.

"I love you too baby." He replied, kissing the top of my head. I almost didn't care that we were sitting like this in front of a room full of people who knew exactly who we were and would probably take pictures.

All I had to say was my best friend was comforting me during a hard time in my life. 

We sat there in silence for a few minutes before I heard a woman's voice saying my name.

"Ryan?" Both Brendon and I looked up to see my mother standing next to us. She was looking back and forth from me and Brendon as if she were trying to figure out which one of us was her son.

"I'm gonna go get some coffee." Brendon said. He kissed my cheek and stood up. "Want some?"

"Yeah, thanks." I returned the same smile that Brendon as giving me and he walked away. "Can I help you?" I asked, pretending I didn't know who she was.

"May I?" She motioned to the empty spot next to me on the couch and I nodded. She sat beside me and put her head down. "How've you been?"

"Fine." I said quietly. 

"You know who I am right?" She looked up and her eyes met mine and I almost felt like I was staring in a mirror. I shook my head, even though I did know who she was. Her eyes closed and she sighed. "I'm your mom." 

I nodded my head once, and looked down.

"So why are you here?" I forced myself to ask. I wanted to know why she was here. Why would she show up after all these years, especially to my fathers funeral.