Moments in Time. || Phan

I never loved you.

This particular chapter sucks ass because I was literally falling asleep writing.

Sorry.
Warning: If you're easily triggered by talking about being worthless, please DO NOT read this chapter. Also mentions of cutting.
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(Phil's POV)

I woke up in a strangers arms, unaware of where I was.

Because of instinct, I started flailing around, kicking and screaming.

"PHIL! Phil calm down! Phil it's only me!" I quickly jerked my head up, seeing that the 'stranger' was only Dan.

"Oh. I- I'm sorry." I apologized, sitting upright.

"You don't have to apologize. You've been through quite a bit in the past few days." Dan said softly, planting a kiss on my nose.

I'm so lucky to have someone like Dan. He's so sweet and kind, he puts everyone else before him, and overall, he's beautiful. Just perfect.

"So, Phil, do you- do you remember what happened last night?" Dan choked out, starting to tear up.

"Yes." I said, looking down in shame.

He swallowed, wiping his tears. "Okay, listen. Please tell me when you feel the urge to attempt suicide again. I want to help you Phil. You mean everything to me. If I lost you, I would go fucking insane. You're my life source. You. Are. My. Everything. So please, PLEASE come to me. I love too much to let you go." Dan said, putting his head in his hands.

"Dan, I don't want to lose you. But do you know what it feels like to get up every morning and look at yourself and KNOW AS A FACT that you'll never love yourself? I look at you and wonder why the fuck you chose me. I don't deserve someone like you." I said, tearing up.

"What happened to you?" Dan whispered.

"W- what?" I squeaked, letting a few tears fall.

"You used to be so happy. Now you're just sad all the time. I fell in love with the you that always smiled, the you that everyone loved." Dan spat out of nowhere.

"WELL MY BAD FOR OPENING UP TO YOU. I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME. YOU- YOU lied. You lied to me my entire life. I thought I could trust you. HOW COULD BE SO COLD HEARTED." I shouted, staring him in the eye.

"You know what? If you're accusing me for being the bad guy here, then you might as well-" Dan started but I cut him off.

"YOU ARE THE BAD GUY." I shouted, running into my room and shoving things I would need into a bag quickly.

I walked back out to the lounge. Dan was still standing there, looking slightly regretful, but I couldn't care less.

"We're done. Goodbye, forever this time." I spat, slamming the door.

Where will I go now?

(Dan's POV)

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.

What have I done? Why did I do that?!

I snapped because the thoughts came in all at once. I was in shock, I was angry that he tried to kill himself and I reacted horribly.

Now he's gone. 'Forever this time'

I fell to the floor, clutching my hair roughly in my hands. And sobbed.

After about an hour of crying, I pulled myself together and stood.

"I have to get him back." I whispered to no one, running out the front door.

(Phil's POV)

Here I was again. Oh, you think I mean the bridge? No, not this time. I just mean that here I am again, about to be dead.

I stared at myself in the mirror. "It's been a good run." I whispered to no one.

I was currently in the bathroom of a small Starbucks that had no one in it.

I took a small sip of my caramel macchiato, and smiled. It was almost over.

I reached into my pocket, pulling out my wallet. I reached into my wallet an pulled out my blade. I've been clean for months, but that's about to go to waste. "I'm sorry Dan, I love you."

I was about to slice through my skin when someone opened the bathroom door.

I quickly spun around to see the one person who I did not want to see at this moment in time.

Dan.

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This was also kinda a filler chapter to foreshadow upcoming things ^.^
The next chapter should have fluff and happies so yayyyy.

ALSO: Do you guys want smut? I've written boarder line smut before, but never the real thing so I was thinking maybe I could try and experiment.

-E xX