The Love Complex (Completed)

-30-

"There I was, way off my ambitions, getting deeper in love every minute" - F. Scott Fitzgerald

She had been rejected five times in her life. However, it didn't mean that she had been rejected five times by five different men. No, that was not the case. She had only given her heart to three men in her life. The first time, she had done so rather carelessly. She hadn't thought it through and had revealed her heart like one does a precious piece of art. The next time she had been more careful, but had received a response that had hurt her more than she had thought. Then, the third time, the one that was supposed to be the charm.

Perhaps that was the reason she had not been able to let go. She had been blinded by that saying, completely leaving reason behind. She had clung to hope and almost begged for a love that was not hers to take. At the end, the pain only grew and the rejection created the biggest hole in her heart. It was her breaking point.

She had vowed to not let it happen again. Love had given her it's back. She was not allowed to be loved. There was no reason to give up her heart and fall into a ditch that would only scrape her soul.

She believed she had learned her lesson, but she wasn't sure. As she looked at Dylan, his gaze fixated on her, she knew that she had possibly not learned a thing. His eyes were innocently expecting her words. There was no judgment or annoyance. Instead, they radiated kindness and a calm serenity that made her feel a sense of safety. She wanted to drown in his eyes and never come back. She wanted to disappear onto Dylan and forget about the world and the pain that she had suffered in the past.

For the past few weeks he had been taking care of her, despite his nagging she still enjoyed being around him.

"I...uhm..." her fingers twisted the sheets, trying to keep herself from running away, which she couldn't in her state.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

Her mind wandered back to the beginning, when he appeared in front of her for the first time. There had been a strange feeling in her heart then. She had been intrigued by him from that moment on. She knew that she had slowly fallen in love with him, despite her efforts against it.

"No." she said, "There's nothing wrong. It's just that, I have something I really need to tell you."

Dylan nodded, waiting for her to talk.

She knew that the possibilities of being reciprocated were low. In her heart she was sure that Dylan was not in love with her; he didn't share the same feelings that she felt for him. She had also prepared herself for those words.

"Dylan, I...first of all, I really tried really hard so that something like this wouldn't happen. I tried to reason with myself, but the harder I tried the more in vain it was."

Dylan nodded confused.

"I-uhm..." She took a deep breath. It had been the hardest confession that she had ever said. Her palms began to get sweaty and she wiped them with the sheets.

"Dylan, I sort of...well, not sort of. You see," She could feel her heart beating in her chest. It felt heavy and afraid. She remembered all those other times, when she had confessed in the past. It felt traumatizing to have to do it again. Her breath became unsteady, and she closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to meet his gaze. 

" I like you."

"Love, actually." she finished.

When she opened her eyes again, Dylan was looking at her a bit surprised.

"Uhm...I didn't know that you felt that way," he began.

She knew what would be coming out of his mouth after that, so she stopped him. "Let me finish...I don't expect you to feel the same way. I know that you might still be hurt with everything that happened with Tina. I understand; I don't expect you to love me back. I'm okay with liking you in silence."