After Midnight

chapter twenty-four.

24 - ZAYN

To say I wasn't handling my stress well was a fucking understatement.

Work has been a discombobulated nightmare, and it's fully my fault. I'm aware it's my fault, but I don't care.

I care enough to get my shit done for Adelaide, but I've hardly been the help I usually am.

It's not my fault she's doubled her caseload. I'm trying my best to keep up, but my family stress has left me distracted.

I was supposed to apply for an opening position in Adelaide's firm, but I've been so spaced lately that I completely forgot. I have to finish my application by the end of the week, but I'm in such a rut I don't even know if I want it anymore. 

If I'm not working- I'm drinking, and if I'm not drinking, I'm finding time to spend with Scarlett.

Her boss has her running around the city all day today, but we're hopeful that we'll have time to see each other tonight.

Luckily, I've kept my growing alcohol abuse issue quiet. It's not like I'm an alcoholic; it just helps the long nights get a little shorter.

Is that alcoholism? Fuck. I don't care.

I spin myself around, facing Adelaide, who's looking at me like I shot her cat.

"What'd I do now?" I ask.

"Smartass," she huffs, rolling her eyes. "you need to get out of this slump. It's useless drinking away all your misery."

Huh? How the fuck does she know? I furrow my brows at her, acting like I have no clue what she's talking about.

"Don't play dumb. You're practically seeping alcohol from your pores, and you're hungover every day." She rants.

I clench my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. "Look, Adelaide, I'm not in the mood for a lecture."

She laughs. "Good thing I'm not a professor. You need to figure your shit out, Zayn, or you're going to end up fucking up your life."

"Already fucked," I mumble under my breath.

She throws a pen at me angrily. "Are you stupid? You've got your brother and his fiancé who cherish you. Your girlfriend looks at you like you're some mesmerizing God, which I really don't understand, by the way. You've got a shitty father who gave you a lot of shitty memories and trauma that you can't change, but your entire life without him? Don't let him ruin that, too. You get to chose what path you take here. You can stop wallowing and drinking your worries away, or you can drink yourself into a stupor and end up like the one person you hate the most." She finishes.

I stare at her, eyes wide. She's right. She's always fucking right, and it pains me to admit it.

I just recline in my seat, crossing my arms defensively. "Yeah, all right." I sigh.

She smiles contently and turns back to her computer, the both of us finishing our work for the day with no other chatting.

I skip my stop to the liquor store and stop at 25 Hours instead on my way home.

I order myself a sandwich and coffee for dinner, sitting at my table. Scarlett's table.

I miss her. Fuck, I wish I was with her all the time.

Something about her calms me down. Like nothing could possibly go wrong when she's lying in my arms.

Having her petite body tucked against me just makes sense, and when I sleep without her, I'm damn restless.