Scars

Take The Night Off Mommy

“Calm down, Brin, I’ll watch Ren.” Sydney argued with me. She looked for any excuse to spoil Ren, and this time would be her first time babysitting for me. I have no friends and guys aren’t exactly beating down my door, so this was my first time out in almost four years. I was morbidly excited about it and I was pretty sure I changed clothes at least twenty times before I finally landed on a little dress that made me feel less fat than I was. I stared in the mirror for almost half an hour, feeling sad for myself because of my pregnancy weight. But that’s when Sydney found out I was heading out without Sam.

“No, Sydney, she’s staying with mom and you can help. I will not trust you alone with my baby.” I said back to her, making it clear that it was final. She slumped noisily out of the room and Ren laughed at her while playing on the floor beside my feet. I had just given her a bath and she wore princess pajamas, her damp hair sticking up in different directions.

I could smell my mother making dinner in the kitchen and I was glad I was leaving soon. She had put up a fight with me when I told her I needed her to watch Ren because of what happened last time, but after an hour of arguing she started to lighten up. And so to repeat, I was morbidly excited. To make the time pass, I took Ren downstairs and gave her pieces of the dinner my mother was still cooking. It kept her occupied and quiet as well and watching her calmed my nerves.

It was obvious that my mother was just as anxious about tonight as I was as she fidgeted with her wedding ring and paced around the kitchen. She even jumped about ten feet in the air when she heard the doorbell.

I stood up and fixed my composure, walking/ scurrying to the door. My sweaty palms twisted the knob and let in a smiling Sam. “Hey,” he said, making the summer heat thousands of degrees hotter. I was suddenly aware of how nervous and sweaty I was. But what was wrong about it was that I knew exactly why.

I let Sam in and I awkwardly led him into the kitchen where my mother waited with a judgmental stare, Sydney peaking around the doorframe to see the catch I had brought home, and Ren, who just sat there squealing in delight at her meatloaf that sat lifeless in front of her on the table. Sam gave them a warm grin. “Um, I’ll have her back before ten if that’s all right ma’am.” He said to my mother in a way that made my heart melt to burning liquid in my chest. Even my mother was impressed and nodded at us to go on, so I turned and led him back to the front door, not looking back at Ren. But that didn’t stop her from turning and shouting.

“Bye, Mommy!” she squealed. I faltered in my step as my heart dropped to my stomach. Just play it off like nothing happened, I told myself. So I continued to walk with Sam right on my heels. When we got out to his car and I hopped into the passenger seat quietly, hoping he wouldn’t say anything about it.

“Mommy, huh?” he said with a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

 Crap.