Not Warriors- Awsten Knight

Chapter 9

TW: Continued from the last chapter, brief discussions of drug use, if needed I can give you a run down of the chapter just message me! Stay safe <3

"Was someone going to tell me that they were watching the fucking set today?" Claire asks anxiously as she paces back and forth in the common area of the bus. 

Collin and Chris shoot anxious looks back and forth, not knowing what to tell her. 

They knew that Waterparks had briefly mentioned coming to see them play today, but they weren't 100% sure if it was actually happening or not and honestly if they had known they never would of debuted Painkiller Weather today considering the fact it was about Claires sister. 

It was a painful subject for her, and not one that she talked about with many people. 

The thing was that Collin and Madison had dated for a brief period of time, and while Collin was the best possible person for her to be around. Her demons never let the chokehold up that they had on her, and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't out run them. 

The only running that she did was from the only home she had ever known, she ran from Houston out to Philly where Claire had been living, and when things got hard again she ran from there. 

Although it broke their hearts to admit it, Claire and Collin had no idea where Madison was today. 

They just hoped that she was happy and healthy, they texted and called her constantly checking in just for those messages to be left read which gave them some small glimmer of hope. Voicemails couldn't be left anymore due to the fact her inbox was full, letting the both of them know that she never listened to those. 

"Claire... you know that if we had known they were for sure coming we wouldn't of played that today right?" Chris asks cautiously. 

Chris was definitely the most quiet one out of the group of boys, it took a while for him to open up to people and once he did there was really no shutting him up. With that being said, he was fiercely protective over the group of them and especially Claire. 

He was the oldest out of the group, and therefore took over this protective role of everyone around him. If it was up to him, he would of decked Awsten in the fact the moment he discovered who he was on the bus that night and kicked him out without another word but he knew that this would of upset Claire and that is the last thing that he wanted to do. 

Claire let out a shaky breath, rubbing her hands together to stop herself from picking at the skin around her fingernails. 

It was a terrible habit, but a lot of the time she didn't even notice that she was doing it until someone pointed it out to her. 

"Yeah I know that, it's just the fact that I have to talk to him now about it all and I don't know how I am going to do that." she says softly, forcing herself to stop her tears before they can fall. 

"You don't have to do anything Claire." Chris says sternly without even meaning to, no part of him was upset with her. 

He was upset with the fact that she felt like she owed Awsten something. 

"Yeah Chris is right." Collin chimes in, turning his head to look at Claire. 

"Or I could talk to him for you." he offers, already knowing what her answer is going to be. 

She sits down on the couch, crossing her legs and pulling her knees tight to her chest to then rest her head on top. 

"No, you guys don't understand and that's okay I don't expect you to. I do have to talk to him about this, I'm pretty sure Jawn and Otto knew at least something about Madison but from the look on Awstens face he had no idea." she says softly, looking at the ground that was cluttered with various pairs of shoes, and in attempts to distract herself she quickly gets up from where she was seated, and starts organizing. 

"Okay but what does it matter what he knows Claire? He's a fucking dickhead you don't owe him a damn thing." Chris says in confusion

"Claire can you stop panic cleaning please? You aren't even pairing the right shoes up." Chris says, frustration clear in his voice while he points to the pile that she had just made that has no sort of rhyme or reason. It's  not even organized, just controlled chaos. 

She snaps out of her daze, looking down at the pile she had made and the tears she had forced away a few minutes prior start to fall. 

Claire isn't sure why this is the tipping point for her, or why she is so upset over something so simple. 

If she had to guess, it's the fact that it's only the second day of tour and she felt like it had lasted a lifetime with everything that had been happening and the fact that she felt like she had no control of her surroundings. 

"I know I don't owe him anything Chris, that's not what I'm saying. The fact is that Madison went everywhere with Awsten and I for years, he loved her just as much as he loves his little sister and I can't even begin to explain to you how hard he took it when she started hanging out with people that weren't good for her. It was never that bad back then, it was just weed and drinking on school nights and we just figured she was going through a rebellious teenager phase." she starts off slowly, not wanting to get into too many details because she knew that she would never stop herself from crying if she got too far. 

"So just try to sympathize with him for one minute, and put yourself in his shoes to think about hearing a lyric about someone who you had known since they were 13 doing drugs like that. It couldn't of been easy, Jawn and Otto looked like they had seen a ghost when I looked side stage. Say what you want but they all deserve an update, even if it's not something that I am excited to do. I just need to do it okay?" she tells them stubbornly. 

The boys knew that once Claire set her mind to something there was really no going back, they just couldn't help to feel like they kept putting her in these situations that she didn't want to be in. 

That she didn't deserve to be in, in all honesty if they had known from the start who Waterparks were they would of never agreed to go on Warped Tour regardless of how good it could be for their careers in the long run. 

"I still don't fucking like him." Chris says in a sour tone, and Collin shoots him a dirty look nudging him slightly. 

Collin knew how Chris felt about Awsten, and they were pretty much all on the same page about it regardless of how many times Claire told them that he was a good person despite his shitty actions in the past. 

He also knew that the constant reminder wouldn't do anything good to help her, in fact it could potentially just push her away and make things harder in the long run. 

"You don't have to like him Chris. I don't like him either." she says, but in all honesty neither of the boys believe her. 

They just don't have the heart to tell her.