Not Warriors- Awsten Knight

Chapter 27

"Why did you just hang up the phone so quickly who were you talking to?" Awsten asks Jawn curiously, he didn't typically ask questions like this but there was no denying the fact that Jawn was acting strange. 

Jawn sat there for a moment, debating if he should tell Awsten what was going on. He didn't want him to be on edge for the rest of the day but he knew that it was something that he needed to know. 

"Claire, she called to tell me that Macayla is here." Jawn says lightly, trying not to stress his friend out. 

Awsten rolled his eyes, scoffing "Jawn don't fuck with me it's not funny."

"I would never fuck with you about something like this Aws, Claire just had an entire conversation with her at the merch tent." he replies softly, 

Awsten's eyes grow wide, "What the fuck did she say to Claire?" he asks nervously. 

Jawn shakes his head, he knew that if Awsten knew word for word what his ex had disclosed to Claire it would not end well. 

"That's not important, Claire took care of it. But she was looking for you so what do you want to do?" Jawn asks, and Awsten gives him a confused look. 

"There's literally nothing we can do Jawn, what do you mean?" he asks him curiously and Lucas speaks up. 

"We could cancel meet and greet, eliminate the chances of her trying to come up to you and start anything." he says calmly and Awsten shakes his head.

"We already had to push back meet and greet we can't just cancel it, fans will be pissed. I'm sure she won't try anything too bad." he says shakily, trying to make himself believe it. 

"Alright if you're sure we should go up to the tent now." Lucas tells him with a small nod and Awsten lets out a soft breath. 

The walk to the tent, they're normally messing around with each other and laughing but today was different. Otto and Geoff were brought up to speed on the unwelcomed vistor of the day and they were all only really focused on keeping Awsten away from the girl that took so much of him. 

Fans were lined up and excited to see the boys so Awsten knew that he had to put on a brave face because they deserved to have a good experince and he refused to let her take that away from him.

He found himself thinking about Claire and the fact that she had called to warn him about everything that was going on, even when they werent speaking she was thinking about him and his well being and it made him feel good. 

Awsten couldn't find the words to explain how he had been feeling lately, for the years that Claire wasn't around he always felt like he was searching for something, someone to fill this absence that he felt in his life. 

But now that Claire was back around he realized that there was never really a hole, he knew that it felt good to be around but in the off chance that they didn't go any further it was just good to have her back in his life. 

He wonders if for so long he was so focused on the idea of being needed that it clouded every aspect of his judgement and that's why he ended up attached himself to someone like Macayla. 

He knows now that she didn't actually need him, but she knew that he thrived on that feeling so sure used it in her avantage for so long that he was blinded by the infatution that he felt for her. 

"Aws." Jawn says softly, putting his hand on his friends shoulder to shake him out of his daydream. 

Awsten shakes his eyes, his eyes focusing on what was going on and he looks over at Jawn, "Sorry, lost my head there for a minute." he says apologetically. 

"God that's pathetic." he hears a familar voice say that makes his stomach drop. 

Awsten averts his gaze to the person standing in front of him, staying silent. 

He was thankful for the fact that they had made it through the line of fans that had been waiting and it was only the four boys, and Macayla standing there but he still wished that he didn't have to currently deal with this. 

"What? Cat got your tongue?" she asks in a condescending tone and Awsten rolls his eyes. 

"I have absolutely nothing to say to you, I don't even understand why you showed up here in the first place but there's nothing that you could say that I would care about." he replies dryly, and she laughs at him. 

"See that's where you're wrong, because I can very well make you care about what I say with the press of one silly little button on Twitter." she says with a smile on her face. 

Awsten swallows thickly, turning to the boys "Head to the stage I'll be there in a minute for soundcheck." he instructs them and they all shoot him a worried look. 

"Awsten are you-" Jawn starts off slowly before Awsten cuts him off. 

"Go. It's fine." he replies sternly and they nod, gathering their stuff and walking off slowly glancing back every so often. 

"Macayla what do you want?" he asks her, the exhaustion evident in his voice. 

"Simple. You, I miss you." Macayla tells him, and to anyone else they would think she was being sincere but he could see right through her act.

Awsten laughs bitterly, folding his arms across his chest. 

"You don't miss me, you miss having someone that would wait on you hand and foot. I don't know why you decided to come all the way here. I have had your number blocked for months but yet you still send messages that I never fucking answer." he spits at her before taking a deep breath to calm himself down. 

He refused to give her the satisfaction of getting upset, because he knew that she would throw it back in his face. 

"You're being dramatic Awsten, you act like I'm the worst or something." she replies unamused. 

"I have to go to soundcheck. If you could go somewhere, anywhere other than here that would be great." he says, choking on his words before turning around and swiftly walking away from the tent. 

He was trapped in his own mind, silently beating himself up for the fact that she had an affect on him and his emotions for so long.