Not Warriors- Awsten Knight

Chapter 46

Madison spent almost the entire night with Claire, Awsten and Collin. 

None of them were ready to recongize the fact that the three of them had to get back to the hectic world that was constant touring, and they would be leaving Madison behind. 

 But also in all reality, they had more peace of mind than they had had in years all thanks to an awkward encounter in a HEB. 

Collin had told Awsten and Claire shortly after Madisons departure that he was heading to bed, everyone muttered their simple goodnights and that they would see each other in the morning and the two of them made their way into Awstens room changing into comfortable clothes to wear to bed. 

"Do you remember how when we were in high school we used to climb into the bunk beds and then wait for everyone to fall asleep and I'd climb down into your bed?" Claire says thoughtfully, earning a laugh from Awsten. 

"We used to think we were real fucking sneaky because we would set an alarm and have you climb back up before everyone was awake." he says still laughing. 

"Yeah until that one morning at breakfast your mom told us that she knew what we were doing the entire time because the alarm was when she was waking up for work." she says joining in on the laugher. 

It was weird to be back surrounded by these four blue walls where so much of their relationship was built, so many secrets were told in this room, and late night conversations that the two of them had sworn would never be told to another soul. 

They were just two high school kids desperate for each other, and falling for the gleam of an adult life that quickly proved to be dull in comparison to what they thought it would be. 

"Do you ever wish you could go back to high school?" Awsten asks her quietly, the two of them still sitting side by side and Claire pulls her knees into her chest leaning against the wall. 

"Honestly? No. Do I wish that sometimes I could rewind to some of our favorite moments together just to watch them as an outside person? Yeah all the fucking time." she replies thoughtfully, and he crosses his arms also leaning back. 

"Explain that to me?" he asks quietly, and she nods. 

"I wouldn't want to relive the moments myself because if I had the knowledge then that I know now, they wouldn't be as special. But I would love to go back and just watch us and how we were with each other, to see the love that we had even at a young age." she explains in depth and Awsten understands what she means. 

"Do you think the love that we have for each other now is different?" he asks her quietly, and his breath hitches in the back of his throat when she mutters a yes. 

"I don't think there's any denying that it's different, but that's because we're adults now. We've experienced real life, the good and the bad. I think any love at 26 is going to be different than 18." she says honestly, pausing before continuing. 

"But it doesn't make the love any less real, I would do anything for you now just like I would of then, it's just that love changes as you get older and so do people." she responds and he nods in response. 

"Sometimes I'm really fucking scared that we're doing this again." he tells her truthfully, and Claire stays quiet waiting for him to continue. 

"It's like all of this could go away, like it never happened anyway." he mumbles under his breath, and is thankful when he feels the weight on the bed shift and Claire come up next to him resting her head on his shoulder.

"I think we just need to make a promise to ourselves to work on us every single day, that way we can continue to grow but together. I'm not giving up on this easily." she tells him, her tone full of love and he is thankful for that. 

"I can do that, I just think the fact that there's so many outside things that we never had before that sort of scare me." he says agreeing with her. 

"Like what?" she asks curiously, mainly wondering if his fears are the same as hers.

"Distance for starters. We've never lived more than five minutes apart from each other while dating, and we currently live on opposite sides of the country, we tour entirely too fucking much because or label loves to kill us, and I'm sure it'll be the same case for the boys now that they've gotten so much exposure on this tour." he replies. 

Claire hadn't put thought into the fact that Collin and the boys would be touring a lot, it was still weird to her that the small local band she was immensely proud of was playing main stage at Warped Tour every single day and she was along for the ride. 

"Just tell them to be careful, if there's one thing EVR is good at it's making you hate the one fucking thing that you love more than anything on the face of the planet. I can't even tell you how many times I've wanted to just call it quits and go and live a normal life." he says, his voice with a hint of venom. 

"Are they still trying to fuck with you over Worst?" Claire asks quietly, she knew the backlash from the label wasn't great but with everything that had happened over the last few days they really hadn't fully talked about what exactly went down. 

"Yeah, but we can talk about that tomorrow. I promise." he replies, holding his pinky out for her and she smiles in the darkness wrapping her pinky around his tightly. 

"I promise that distance won't come between us, I'm not saying that it'll be easy because it probably won't be. But it'll be well worth it, I love you." she says to him, and Awsten returns the smile. 

He had a plan to help the distance, he just hopes that it isn't as insane as it seems it might be.