Not Warriors- Awsten Knight

Chapter 25

Claire sat in the same spot in bed for what felt like an eternity. 

By the time she snapped out of her daze it was pitch black in her room, she feels bad for telling Awsten that she needed time. But in all reality she needed to be able to sit and listen to these songs that were about her, and to hear exactly how he was feeling.

She knows that she won't know the exact timeline of when they were written, but she still hopes that it'll give her some insight into the past. She numbly made her way out of bed, going to her backpack to pull out her headphones.

As much as she wanted to listen to the full albums the things she was most focused on right now were the ones that were about her, and she felt selfish for it but she needed answers. 

Unlocking her phone she goes directly to Double Dare starting I'll Always Be Around.

"If you died I'd hope you'd haunt me ,'cause you know I'd miss you bad. There's something I haven't told before and if I left I'd hope you'd stop me and kick my boxes from the left keep me 'round to see what I'd endure."

Claire notices that she's crying, she's not sure when the tears started but she's not sure if they're going to stop at any point soon. How was she supposed stop him from leaving? She didn't even get the chance to say goodbye to him.

"When you're out I miss you badly and write you songs like this today. There's something I haven't told before you stopped me in my tracks, you caught me in a gaze. it's one of the things that I just can't help these days."

She wonders if this one was written back when they were still living together, the months that he was stuck at home while she was working and going to school. It would make sense, during that time he had shut her out almost completely and rarely talked about his feelings. Maybe he wondered what would of happened if he did leave for months before he did.

What sticks out most to her is the fact that just a few hours prior he had told her "Take all the time you need, I'll still be here." it was so familiar to the song she's listening to him sing right now about always being around. Maybe he would of always been around if she hadn't of blocked him and erased every memory of them that night. 

She realized that she couldn't blame either one of them for what had happened, there was so many feelings and unsaid words revolving around them that they were just crashing and burning but too naïve to notice. 

She had already heard the songs on Entertainment that were about her, and she didn't think that she would be able to handle hearing them again tonight. She wasn't ready to talk to Awsten yet, but she needed to talk to someone. 

Claire groaned remembering that everyone had gone out for the night knowing that all of her closest friends would be too drunk to have a conversation like this tonight, but she couldn't remember if Jawn was with them or not.

Claire 
Did you go
out with everyone
tonight?

Jawn
No I'm in my room,
what happened with you
and Awsten?

Claire
Can you come 
over please?

Jawn
Got your room number
from Aws. I'll be there in

a minute okay?

Claire was thankful for the fact that Jawn didn't ask anymore questions and he agreed to come and talk to her so easily. 

She thinks he must of run through the hallway, or time was just passing her by before she could even realize because she heard a knock on her door in no time.