english class | minsung

20 / killing me

He couldn't get it out of his head. The feeling of Hyebin's arms around his neck, his own hands on her butt. And their lips on each other's. He just couldn't seem to get rid of those bothersome thoughts - and not in a positive way. Jisung felt disgusted with himself. It wasn't so much that he had made out with Hyebin, but rather that he had made out with someone in the first place, and to what extent he had been drunk. He'd completely lost control.

The boy curled up even more and screwed his eyes shut, draping the blanket over his head in the process. He knew that if Seungmin - who still seemed to be sleeping soundly next to him - noticed that he was awake, he would bring up that specific topic, forcing Jisung to explain why he'd done what he'd done, which would only make him think about it and regret it even more.

Hence, he attempted to fall asleep again. He didn't want to think about anything at all. Not about Hyebin, not about his inebriation, not about having to justify himself to Seungmin. And most certainly not about Minho.
Right then, the thought of Minho occupied his mind and he remembered his last message to Jisung, which he had yet to respond to. Because he had been too busy hooking up with a girl.

In fact, Jisung was on the verge of crying. He had never felt so horrible about himself before. Admittedly, he couldn't think of any negative consequences of his actions. It wasn't like Minho and him were having a serious relationship. Yet Jisung felt as if he had ruined everything.

Jisung slammed the mattress with his palm out of frustration, only to regret it later when he heard bedsheets rustling and his best friend move next to him.
‹Fuck,› Jisung thought, halting all movements and closing his eyes to give the impression that he was still sleeping.

Seungmin shifted around yet again. The boy seemed to have sat up in bed.
«Jisung, I know you're not sleeping.» The younger boy's words were followed by a yawn.
Jisung, on the other hand, remained unfazed. He proceeded to lay there, curled up and buried entirely below the blanket. Even if Seungmin was aware that he was awake, he was far from prepared to confront his best friend.

«For the love of God, Jisung.» Seungmin sighed, plainly too exhausted and irritated to deal with Jisung's antics. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Jisung's blanket was removed, displaying his curled-up body. He buried his face between his legs almost instantly.

After a little pause, Seungmin spoke up again. He sounded more cautious and sympathetic this time.
«Hey, I'm not gonna judge you, if that's what you think. You...» He came to a halt, as though pondering something. He then let out a sigh.
«We all make mistakes. Listen, once won't do any harm. You don't owe anyone anything.»

Jisung listened intently, but still didn't budge. Even though he knew Seungmin was right, he still felt bad, perhaps embarrassed.
«Now quit being a crybaby and text Minho. Poor dude wants to finally meet up with you.»

Jisung jerkily turned around, looking at his friend in disbelief when he heard him say that.
«Bold of you to assume that I'm ever going to face Minho again.» He stated, burying the side of his face in the cushion once again.
«Do you have a hangover?» Seungmin cocked his head, leaning in close to Jisung's face, sceptically scanning it up and down before returning his gaze to Jisung's eyes.
«No...» The older muttered and averted his gaze.
«Then it's not bold of me at all. Get up now.» Seungmin harshly shoved Jisung to the edge of the bed, making him almost fall off it. He struggled to keep his balance, eventually safely sitting up in bed again. He gave Seungmin a doubtful glance, to which the latter just nodded and pointed to his phone, which was charging on the nightstand.