english class | minsung

12 / no reason

Maybe it was how his lips lifted into a smile without him seeming to think about it, or the way his voice rolled warmly out if him like clouds. Jisung couldn't keep his eyes off the boy sitting in front of him.

Minho was currently talking to Chan who was sitting right next to Jisung which gave the younger the perfect opportunity to stare at his crush without necesserily getting caught. Sometimes, in situations like these, Jisung began wondering why he liked Minho so much. He didn't even know the boy that well - which probably was the reason he wasn't completely in love with Minho. Everything Jisung knew about him was that he was good at maths, good at badminton, went to the fitness studio and that he was nice to everyone. Was it even justified to have a crush on someone without really knowing them?

«Jisung? Jisung!» The boy snapped out of his thougths, realizing that he'd been caught staring. He turned his head to where the voice had come from and was instantly face to face with Seungmin. His friend looked at him with raised eyebrows, obviously judging him.

«Have you been staring? At Minho?» Seungmin whispered the older boys's name and Jisung couldn't be more thankful about that. Nevertheless, he felt himself blush and suddenly forgot how to speak. He needed an excuse, quickly.

«No. No, I just spaced out. You know, like, when you just... space out.» Jisung smiled awkwardly and tried to look directly into Seungmin's eyes to make his statement seem more truthful. However, he could easily tell that, even though his friend slowly nodded his head, he didn't believe Jisung.

«Anyways, as I was saying... I love Minho.»

Every possible alarm in Jisung's head went off and he snapped his head into Seungmin's direction so hard it almost hurt. Had he misheard his friend? He hoped he did.

«What?!» He exclaimed, more outraged than he wanted to, inspecting Seungmin with wide eyes.

«Jesus Christ, of course I don't. I noticed that you were about to drift off again, but that certainly did bring your attention back.» Seungmin huffed, raising an eyebrow.

Jisung noticed that he had been caughed and there was now way he could talk himself out of it now. He felt his heartbeat speed up and his cheeks grow warm, he was sure he might seize any second.

«Let's talk about this later.» The younger boy said, his face showing no signs of any emotions, nor giving any hints to what he was thinking. Then he stood up, grabbing his tray and walked away. Jisung cursed himself internally and wanted nothing more than to die. He didn't know if he was being to dramatic but the thought of someone finding out he was gay - even if it was his best friend - was just too terrifying. Trying to calm down - without success - he waited until Seungmin had left the cafeteria and also got up to bring away his tray.

Jisung tried his very best to avoid Seungmin the rest of the day as much as possible. Which was, in fact, not quite easy, considering they shared a room at the moment. Thus, Jisung tried to spend as much time outside the room as possible, resulting in him wandering around the building by himself. Then and now he would cross ways with one of his classmates, have a short conversation - starting with the question what the hell he was doing - and then part ways again.
Jisung peeked at his wrist watch and sighed. Not only was he still feeling a little nauseous, he also got extremely bored and he knew he couldn't keep on doing this any longer. But he didn't want to face Seungmin either.

"Let's talk about this later."
No, no, no. Jisung was definitely not planning on having that conversation with his best friend. Of course he trusted Seungmin - he was his best friend after all and already knew a lot of stuff about Jisung - but telling him that he liked boys? Jisung couldn't imagine himself ever doing that. He didn't even know exactly what was holding him back. Seungmin would never judge him.

"There you are."
A familiar voice interrupted Jisung's thoughts. The boy turned around and immediately wished he hadn't. His eyes widened at the sight of Seungmin who had found him and he turned back around, acting like he hadn't just been spoken to. However, his attempt of fleeing was quickly aborted by a hand forcibly grabbing his shoulder, forcing him to face his best friend.
"Why are you hiding and running away from me?" Seungmin sounded serious and his voice was layered with a pinch of disappointment.

"I- I'm not hiding from you." Jisung tried to sound firm but he knew that Seungmin could easily sense the nervousness he was radiating.

"Jisung... Is this about what I said this morning?" The younger boy's eyebrows furrowed and he stepped closer to his best friend, crossing his arms before his chest.
Jisung - even though somewhere deep inside him he knew that it wouldn't work - still tried to play it off and act like he didn't know what the brunet was talking about.
"What did you say this morning? I don't remember. You know how I never remember-"

"Jisung!" Seungmin interrupted him almost angrily. Then he sighed - was it in defeat? He seemed to calm himself down and gather his thoughts before speaking up again.
Jisung could've easily used that moment to run away or something, but he didn't. He now could clearly see Seungmin's frustration, so he stayed there, waiting for the boy's next words.
"I can't force you to talk to me, but I can advise you to. Jisung, you know I would never want to harm you in any way. There's no point in hiding and running away from me because you can't do that forever...", he paused, looking at Jisung as if he was confirming that the other was listening.
"...and I basically already know anyway. You- you should just talk to me."

Jisung processed Seungmin's little speech. Surprisingly, it convinced him a little bit to open up, but another part of him kept fielding his friend. He thought for a moment and even felt himself anger up a bit. Actually, he didn't even have a right to be angry at Seungmin here, but he still was. Just a teeny tiny bit. And he couldn't help but show it by not responding to Seungmin and instead turning around to leave.

Only when he heard Seungmin call out his name, he stopped in his tracks and turned around angrily, throwing his arms up theatrically, nearly shouting his next words.
"Fine, I'm gay!"
He immediately regretted his decision to say that out so loud, considering the fact that there were students' rooms around them and they could've heard him. All the anger built up earlier left his body and he felt like breaking down instead. He didn't know if it was out of relief or because he had just basically told everyone that he was gay.

Seungmin, who had still been standing a few meters away from Jisung, noticed the boy's sudden change of mood. His fierce gaze immediately softened and with quick and light steps he walked up to Jisung, putting an arm around the pale boy's waist and escorting him outside.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

what is up guys
ok listen, i barely remember what
all the people in this story look like,
so please don't mind it if hair colors
start changing out of nothing

alr then,
stay healthy and safe guys!!