My Reason To Live

22

Warnings:
-Eating disorder behaviour
-Mentions grooming
-Bullying

George's POV

The next day I got forced to go to school by my dad. I didn't think he knew I met up with a boy, but he did know that I had been gaming all day and thought it was fair enough for me to go back to school after weeks.

I really didn't want to, but it felt like I had to so I wouldn't disappoint my dad even more. I just hoped the pictures and all the bullying would have calmed down a bit by now.

I sighed as I walked to school. I was pretty lightheaded since I still hadn't been eating more than a few bites of dinner every day. I still managed to walk to school with a hood over my head to hide my neck.

With nerves rushing through my body, I went inside of the school and quietly sat down on a chair next to a table to wait for class to start. I heard footsteps behind me and looked around me to see Sapnap run closer.

'Hi! You're back!'

'Yeah,' I muttered as I stared at my hands.

'How have you been? You look really pale and thin. Did you lose weight?'

I shrugged and Sapnap nodded slowly. 'You did lose weight. Are you okay?'

'I just want to stay at home and hide myself. I'm going to get bullied all day again.'

'I'll stand up for you, but I still don't know much about it.'

'Because I don't want to talk about it,' I said with a blunt voice. 'Is it that hard to understand?'

'I'm sorry,' Sapnap muttered. 'Just know that I don't find you weird and you can tell me everything.'

I didn't reply and waited for the bell to ring. I walked to my first class and felt eyes sticking on me. Everyone seemed to like it a lot to look at me after those pictures got spread. I only hated my life even more now.

I ended up walking to class, constantly hearing people talk behind my back. I knew it was about me and I just ended up ignoring it as I stared in front of me.

TW bullying

'Pfft, the freak is back again,' someone behind me said. 'You're such a whore. Did you trade those pictures for sex? With a different guy or the one from yesterday?'

My face heated up and I stared at my book in front of me in silence. Sapnap looked at me with a confused look, but didn't say anything.

'You're going to hell, you're so gross. You did everything that could be wrong and you really shouldn't think that guy really likes a skeleton like you.'

TW over

'What guy?' Sapnap muttered. Before I knew a phone pushed under our noses and my face heated up even more than it already had.

It was a video from outside, zoomed in on my window where Clay and I were making out.

Sapnap pushed the phone away and looked at me. 'Who is that guy?'

I didn't answer him and he frowned. 'Is he the one you sent pictures too? Are you sending those to have sex with someone?'

I just stared in front of me as I got constantly sworn. Sapnap gave up talking to me and the teacher glared at me.

'George, put your hood down.'

'No.'

'George, I give you one more chance. Otherwise you'll have an extra hour of detention.'

I really didn't want to stay at school any longer so put my hood down, immediately hearing people laugh. Sapnap was staring at me and I looked at him.

'Can you see it?'

'So the video is actually you?'

'No, my long lost twin brother.'

'You don't have one.'

'That's the point, idiot. What happened with that boy has nothing to do with the pictures.'

'But did you send him pictures too?'

'NO,' I yelled as I stood up. 'Can you just leave me alone?'

TW bullying

Everyone started laughing. 'Can you even stand on those legs of yours? You only have bones, it seems like you're straight from a horror movie. Why are you even here? Aren't you more busy with trading pictures for sex?'

'You're so gross, you're going to hell,' another boy yelled at me.

TW over cuz George pops off

'Why?' I asked with all the confidence I had. 'Just because I'm apparently likeable enough to have someone who wants to make out with me? I think it will take you fifty years to find someone who wants to even hold your hand.'

It was quiet for a little and I cleared my throat.

'You are all in the wrong. You don't know why I sent those pictures and it's illegal to share them. One day I'll go to the police and you will all be arrested because you shared pictures of me. What I did wasn't illegal, what the person behind the screen did was.'

I suddenly seemed to burst completely.

'Even if I did actually chose to send those pictures, I have all right to. If I want to, I can. But I didn't want to, have you ever considered that? Have you ever considered what could have happened to me?'

I got so angry that I started shaking and clenched my fists.

'I GOT GROOMED, EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT? EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THE FACT I GOT MANIPULATED INTO SENDING THOSE THINGS?'

I looked at Sapnap and couldn't control myself anymore. 'Even you doubted me. Just because I kissed a guy you suddenly think I trade pictures for sex? I was trying to forget those pictures, but everything I do apparently needs to be associated with them.'

'I'm sorry-,' Sapnap started. 'I didn't think you did those things, I was just confused.'

'I don't know how any of those people here got the pictures I sent to a pedophile who acted like an eighteen year old, but I do want to tell you that you're disgusting. You did just as illegal things as the pedophile behind the screen and I didn't do anything I wasn't supposed to.'

I ran to the door and smashed it behind me, just to run away as fast as I could after that.

1039 words